Notes from WWE Extreme Rules: There Will Be Blood

• For the second straight month, I missed the preshow and didn’t get to see an epic Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin match. I am beyond devastated. (not really)
• Thank God “The Club” destroyed the Usos. This was how Gallows and Anderson should have been booked all along. They are gigantic tough guys who should be able to plow through anyone. Hopefully, they move away from “The Bloodline” angle for good and get to whatever The Club is really here to do.
• Rusev is being pushed again and we can all rejoice. He became the new United States champion and Kalisto didn’t put up much of a fight. Of course, Rusev may only be keeping the belt warm for John Cena, but for now, I’m choosing to believe the Bulgarian Brute is being rewarded for being one of the most talented (and secretly funniest) guys on the roster.
• The obligatory “new guy” push is officially over for The Vaudevillains. Xavier Woods, arguably the weakest of the New Day members, kicked out of their finisher straight up. New Day continue to be entertaining and are way over with the crowds but still, take away the brief run by the Prime Time Players, and they have been champs for well over a year.
• What can even be said about the IC title match? It was anticipated to be the best match on the card and it was. It may have broken the record for most false finishes. I actually like that Miz retained here. Owens and Zayn don’t need a belt to feud forever and Cesaro can continue to chase the weasel heel who keeps squeaking by at his expense. Thumbs down to the camera crew for missing the finish.
• The Asylum match was way too long. It was done no favors by having to follow the Fatal Fourway but Jericho and Ambrose really struggled to keep the crowd engaged in what was essentially a prop match. It all came together at the end, thankfully, when WWE finally relaxed their self-enforced PG rules and let an extreme match at an extreme show live up to its name. The barbed wire baseball bat was actually used, unlike at Wrestlemania, and Jericho took a huge bump into a pile of thumbtacks. It was bloody and nasty and it was absolutely the right call to sell the match. Ambrose left with a smile on his face, which I can only assume was because they actually let him do that. Moving forward he should become a darker character meant to be taken seriously. Time will tell.
• A distraction finish to a submission match is a bit absurd but there was no way Natalya was winning, so whatever. Dana Brooke joining forces with Charlotte (and presumably Emma eventually) could mean we finally get a kayfabe version of the Four Horsewomen, a female heel stable that might have some legs for once.
• Disappointing but not unexpected that Roman Reigns would retain the world title. Once again, AJ’s help was dispatched a little too easily for my liking but it was the best move to keep the match as much of a one on one affair as possible.
• The Styles Clash can officially be retired as a finisher. Reigns kicked out of two of them, the second one on a chair. They justified it by having an Uso buy him some time, but it wasn’t that much time! Cesaro was knocked out from a Helluva kick longer.
• Claiming Reigns is a superstar because he gets passionate reactions (re: boos) is a particularly smelly pile of horseshit. If Hulk Hogan had been booed out of the building every night, the wrestling landscape thirty years later would look very different.
• SETH ROLLINS! Here’s to hoping Rollins and Reigns can finally be healthy at the same time so we can get the blow off to a feud two years in the making.

Notes from WWE Payback: New Errors

WWE has been touting their post-Wrestlemania creative resurgence as a “new era.” (Thats’ tout as in “v. to describe or advertise boastfully.” not Tout, the WWE-sponsored app that failed to overtake Vine and Snapchat in the social media landscape). And what better place to test the waters of a new era than at a forgettable, filler pay-per-view that keeps hopping around the yearly schedule? Quick: What was the last Payback main event and what month did it take place in*? Extra credit: Name any match that has ever happened at a Payback event prior to 2016. Still, it’s not Payback’s fault that it’s Payback. Its ignominious status as a lesser pay-per-view with an impermanent place does not mean that this edition of the event was not intriguing and fully indicative of the the new creative direction WWE is trying to take.

• I like that they’re giving Mauro Ranallo an active role on the big events by letting him call the preshow matches. The downside is that when the real show starts, Michael Cole becomes even more of a glaring weakness. Then again, if Cole wasn’t out there being sub-par, we wouldn’t get Kevin Owens calling him out on it.
• I had no idea Baron Corbin vs Dolph Ziggler was a preshow match. Either a case of not advertising enough or advertising so much that I tuned out the hype machine. I guess Ziggler won which is a headscratcher to say the least.
• Heart-eye emoji to Ryback for his weight belt saying “The Preshow Stopper.” The spot of the match was the Big Guy breaking out a press slam from the top rope. Silly that Kalisto no sold it and it led directly to the end of the match, but I enjoy seeing things I’ve never seen before. Press slam from the top rope deserved better. Very surprised Ryback didn’t take the US title from Kalisto to transition it back to John Cena. Had I made official predictions, I would have been 0-2 to start. New era, wooo!
• A topic that comes up often when people talk about stepping in a wrestling ring for the first time is how surprisingly hard the ropes are. That point was certainly driven home when Enzo Amore concussed himself by hitting his face on them as he was thrown from the ring. At full speed it was one of the scarier “real injury” moments I can ever remember. Disappointing that the injury bug struck again and ruined the first official match of the new era but it sounds like Enzo is okay and that is obviously much more important. So Vaudevillains win by stoppage, yes? The bell rang but they never announced anything.
• Kevin Owens finally came through on his promise to make WWE the Kevin Owens Show last night. He beat arch rival, Sami Zayn, surprisingly clean in the middle of the ring (Maybe not surprising. Sami loses a lot). Then he stuck around to kill it on commentary for the IC title match. Sore loser Sami jumped him in the middle of it and the brawl that spilled into the ring ended up costing Cesaro the championship. Trying hard to keep the faith with the Swiss Superman that the push is real this time but he came off looking like a little bit of a chump here. If you have a guy tapping out, what is the point of getting distracted just because the ref is? Keep cranking that hold until the ref comes back! Make Miz suffer!
• Dean Ambrose went over Chris Jericho. I like both of these guys and it was a perfectly fine match but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t start playing Candy Crush during it.
• Charlotte and Natalya have chemistry and their showcase of the new women’s division did not disappoint in the talent department. That ending though. I get what they were going for with the recreation of the Montreal Screwjob (for the 10,00th time btw) but the groundwork was not done on the main roster level for this to come off as anything other than a confusing mess. The Screwjob will never die so that reference is probably fine, but do most people know that referee Charles Robinson was known as Little Naitch in WCW and has a connection to Ric Flair? Do most people know about Robinson’s recent history as a sketchy ref in NXT when he tried to help Eva Marie go over Bayley? I would say most people do not. This was a good match with a bad ending, which honestly is becoming the calling card of the new era at this point.
• The Chicago crowd was kind of annoying during the Vince McMahon segment with their CM Punk chants and yelling WHAT, which is never funny or good. Especially because I was actually invested in what Vince’s decision would be and wanted to hear him talk. How often can you say that? And then the answer to ‘Who Runs Raw: Shane or Stephanie?’ was C) both. This was a lame decision that killed the crowd. Stephanie and Shane both made good points and arguments for why they should be in control. It was a decent enough talking segment considering it was taking up pay-per-view time and then squirt… Wet fart. There are possibly real life factors that require the placating of both children, but it did not translate into any excitement over the new era.
• What can be said about Roman Reigns at this point? He’s not a good wrestler. He’s not a bad wrestler. He’s a wrestler. He’s so far lost as a potential top babyface since the crowd is now conditioned to boo him as the “cool” thing to do. His match with AJ was fine but there’s too much baggage now. Barring a Shield reunion, the crowd is never going to respond to Reigns the way they’re “supposed to.” As soon as Styles won by count-out and the match was restarted, it was pretty obvious where things were headed. Gallows and Anderson factored in after it became No DQ but it didn’t matter. Roman overcame the odds just like Cena would have. I’m numb to it and it wasn’t unexpected. The true disappointment came with the lack of story development. No Finn Balor debut. No reformation of “a club.” Gallows and Anderson’s loyalties remain unknown.
• In the end, Payback was the filler pay-per-view it was always destined to be. No title changes. No story resolutions. Grade: B: the in-ring performances and the fresh faces continue to liven things up even in the face of underwhelming writing.
• Camp WWE is terrible.

 

*- last year’s Payback was on May 17 and the main event was Seth Rollins defending against Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns and Randy Orton in a Fatal Fourway match.

WWE Royal Rumble ’16 Preview

The Royal Rumble is the one match a year where anything is possible. (Or at least it seems that way on paper. Most of the field realistically has no chance) With a spot in the main event at Wrestlemania on the line, a Rumble victory can begin an ascension for a rising star or solidify the legacy of an established one. This year for the first time since 1992, the world title is on the line within the Rumble itself, despite the fact that the championship is not currently vacant. WWE champion, Roman Reigns, has defied the Authority at every turn and now if he is to hang on to the gold, he must survive what is in essence a 30 man over-the top-rope gauntlet match. Here are the major players in this year’s WWE Championship Royal Rumble:

THE FAVORITES

Roman Reigns (champion, entering at #1): In an effort to boost ratings and get Reigns over as the next big thing, Vince McMahon made his return to regular WWE programming as the Final Boss character in Roman’s beef with the Authority. The odds are stacked so high against the champion here, I really feel there’s no way he can walk away from this as the titleholder. Does WWE want Reigns to be their big draw so badly that they would essentially bury every single credible guy on the roster to do it? It’s crazy to think that the answer is YES but here we are. Roman Reigns, even if he doesn’t win (which he really, really shouldn’t just for the sake of plausibility) will definitely factor into the end of the match and his arc will carry the heavy lifting of the story this Rumble is going to tell, for better or worse.

Brock Lesnar: Perhaps the most likely winner, short of a retention by Reigns, the Beast Incarnate would be a worthy victor and champion just on credentials alone. Even the fact that he’s hardly ever around could be covered up by the fact that it’s Wrestlemania season and he surely will be around more than usual. The problem here is that Brock is immune to heel-face alignments. WWE has spent an inordinate and desperate amount of effort into getting cheers for Roman Reigns. When he got the jump on Lesnar last Monday, Roman was audibly booed. Also, though there is some precedent with Rock-Cena, it seems unlikely WWE would want to run the same Mania main event twice in a row.

Bray Wyatt: A darkhorse that has entered the narrative late in the game. On the go-home Raw, it was Wyatt and his family standing tall after beatdowns of Reigns and Lesnar. Either he will end up champion or he will be the reason Brock is not in the title picture at Wrestlemania. The latter feels like the most obvious route.

THE CONTENDERS

League of Nations: Sheamus & Alberto Del Rio have won Rumbles in the past and are both former world champions so it wouldn’t be shocking if they won, as much as it would be out of nowhere. Their existence so far has been as little more than fodder for Roman Reigns. One of them (or Rusev, who was in the final 2 with Roman last year) could win to continue the feud but that doesn’t seem like a big enough story to build Wrestlemania around.

Chris Jericho: It’s easy to overlook Y2J since this latest incarnation has been so incredibly lame but there are several outside factors that give him a chance. First, WWE needs him way more than he needs them and he has been vocally frustrated with his last couple of on-screen stints. What might they have promised him in exchange for a much-needed bolstering of their roster? Second, he was awfully jokey and chummy with Reigns on Raw but the last time he teamed with him, there was tension. A heel turn and another championship could very easily elevate Jericho’s character back to top form.

The Big Show: He’s one of the only superstars outside of the current main event scene to be booked as a threat. But he’s not. Come on. We’ve been doing this with Show for 20 years now.

Kevin Owens/ Dean Ambrose: These two are set to have a Last Man Standing match over the Intercontinental title but with WWE so short on healthy bodies, it would not be surprising to see two of the final four from the recent world title tournament pull double duty. They’re unlikely to win, but they could be in late contention.

THE WILDCARDS

Triple H: The Game hasn’t been seen on main roster television since TLC, where he took a beating at the hands of one Roman Reigns. It’s been an obvious build to a big showdown between these two but will it involve the championship? Vegas seems to think so, recently installing Hunter as the odds-on favorite to win on Sunday even though he hasn’t even been officially announced as a participant in the match.

NXT Superstars: In 2013 and 2014, the Rumble was used to tease the future debuts of Bo Dallas and Alexander Rusev respectively. NXT has only gotten bigger and more acknowledged since that time. Most fans who watch with any regularity would recognize Finn Balor or Sami Zayn if they were inserted into the Rumble. I’m not saying they’re going to win but they both clearly fit into future plans for the company. Maybe the NXT slogan that The Future is Now could become truer than ever.

 

AJ Styles: It’s difficult to pull off surprises in the age of social media and 24/7 coverage of everything, so WWE’s signing of The Phenomenal One has been just about the worst-kept secret in wrestling history. We know how WWE usually treats stars they didn’t create themselves but the times have been a-changin’ the last few years. WWE needs new faces and healthy bodies and they didn’t sign Styles for peanuts either. For once, I think it’s not a matter of if AJ Styles will be pushed, it’s how far.

Daniel Bryan: Bryan has been cleared to compete by every doctor imaginable except for the ones employed by WWE themselves. So what’s the hold up? With every passing day the questions get bigger and the conspiracy theories grow more plausible. Has WWE been intentionally holding back, waiting for the perfect opportunity to re-debut the most popular guy on the roster? Could Flight of the Valkyries hit and blow the roof off the arena during the Rumble? Will the wrongs of the past two Rumbles finally be righted?

YES! YES! YES!

I know I’m almost certainly setting myself up for disappointment but I don’t care. I’m picking Daniel Bryan to win the Royal Rumble on Sunday.

Whatchoo talkin’ about, Irish Whip?

 

The Irish Whip 250

As I was starting to assemble the list for my third annual WWE Power Rankings I couldn’t escape a couple of nagging feelings in the back of my mind. First, NXT has been better than WWE’s main roster for quite some time, so why was I not including it? Second, and more importantly, WWE in 2015 is in a pretty sad state as an entertainment commodity. This year I have become much, much more invested in Lucha Underground and New Japan Pro-Wrestling. Why was I assembling a list of the performers on my fourth favorite wrestling show and excluding the people I actually like and want to write about?

So instead I scrapped the WWE Power Rankings and decided to put in the extra work (4 days) it would take to create The Irish Whip 250.

Now, let me be clear. This is not a ranking of the best wrestlers in the world. That was a rabbit hole I was not prepared to jump down. (maybe next year.) There will be glaring omissions such as performers from TNA or Chikara or any of your favorite indie darlings. The people from ROH who competed in NJPW made the cut but the ROH champion, Jay Lethal, did not. (next year). The Irish Whip 250 is a year-end ranking of the people I’ve seen on the wrestling shows I watch based on my subjective enjoyment of their contributions. The list is assembled from WWE Monday Night Raw, Network Specials, the occasional Smackdown, NXT, Lucha Underground*, NJPW on AXS TV and live events on NJPW World.

*One final note: I was a bit late to the game on LU so their blurbs were written by my brother, who, just for 2015, had a bit more knowledge of that product. You can find him on Twitter @ZombieShakes. He posts a lot of cartoon drawings of wrestlers (Scott Dawson’s banner!)

And now here is 2015’s Irish Whip 250:

250. Justin Gabriel: Frustrated with the WWE Creative team, Gabriel quit the night before the Royal Rumble. Moved on to TNA and has taped at least one appearance for Season 2 of Lucha Underground.

249. Hugo Knox: Soccer goalie turned wrestler. He has been training at the NXT facilities for a year and should be on TV soon.

248. ZZ: The runner-up of WWE’s revived Tough Enough reality show. His force of personality got him a job but it remains to be seen if he’s motivated enough to make it.

247. Steve Anthony: Well-traveled indie wrestler who stopped by NJPW’s Destruction in Okayama to drop the NWA Junior Heavyweight title to Tiger Mask.

246. Bruce Tharpe: Yes, the NWA still exists and it’s run by Tharpe. His over-the-top temper tantrum when Anthony lost to Tiger Mask was a lowlight of the Destruction show.

245. Alexander Wolfe: NXT prospect who teamed with Marcus Louis in an untelevised loss to the Hype Bros during the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic.

244. Brad Maddox: Fired from WWE for using the word ‘prick’ at a live event just when it looked like he might finally get a foothold on a roster spot.

243. Tucker Knight: Currently an NXT jobber but he’s a pretty big guy so there will most likely be better things in his future. Perhaps following the buzzards…

242. Bronson Matthews: A new name for 2015 Tough Enough winner Josh the Yeti. He landed the big prize so WWE has to give him every chance to prove himself.

241. Melina: Appeared at Ultima Lucha to assist Johnny Mundo to victory before being spanked by Alberto El Patron. Apparently, contract negotiations broke down and she will not be appearing in Season 2.

240. Christian: Forced to retire from WWE but has stayed in their good graces, making occasional appearances on Raw. Set to debut a new show with Edge on the WWE Network.

239. Edge: see above.

238. David Otunga: Hasn’t wrestled on WWE TV for well over a year but does have a spot on the Raw pre-show on WWE Network.

237. Hulk Hogan: A huge fall from grace for the once mighty Hulkster. His racist rants cost him his job with WWE and he is currently on their black list.

236. Elias Samson: “The Drifter” lost to Bull Dempsey at NXT Takeover Brooklyn. He’s been given some new guitar-playing vignettes but he’s no longer listed on the wwe.com NXT roster so this might be a total repackage.

235. Sylvester LeFort: This guy has been in NXT for years and has never had anything he’s done catch on. Oh, if only Rusev hadn’t turned on him for Lana. What might have been.

234. Devin Taylor: Was coming into her own as an internet-darling backstage interviewer for NXT but was sadly cut for not making progress as a wrestler.

233. The Boogeyman: Made a surprise appearance at the Royal Rumble as fodder for Bray Wyatt and was the victim of several pranks on Swerved.

232. Hornswoggle: Was used a lot on Swerved but was not seen on regular WWE much. Received a drug suspension for not turning in a sample in a timely manner. But he’s got little legs!

231. Rosa Mendes: Got dumped by Fandango when he ditched his Spanish flair gimmick. Not much TV time even before she got pregnant.

230. Liv Morgan: NXT’s newest female jobber. She’s already got a look and a gimmick (New Joisey) so she might have a chance to climb the ladder.

229. Matanza: Dario Cueto’s cage monster brother. Unsure if anyone is even cast to play him yet, though he had one confirmed kill in Season 1.

228. Stephen Amell: The star of Arrow feuded with Stardust leading to a match at Summerslam. One of the rare non-wrestlers who came across as fairly competent in the ring.

Surprisingly, a super hero fit right in to the wrestling world.

227. Greg Hamilton: NXT interviewer hilariously dubbed “Creepy Greg” by the IWC for his style of appearing out of nowhere while guys are working out or awkwardly standing behind someone while interviewing them. He’s gotten better and currently does most of NXT’s ring announcing.

226. Charles Robinson: WWE refs go mostly unnoticed but Robinson had a high profile spot when he came down to NXT in a failed attempt to help Eva Marie defeat Bayley for the Women’s championship.

225. Diamond Dallas Page: Had a spot in the Royal Rumble, presumably as a thank you for all the life-saving work he’s been doing with retired wrestlers through his DDP Yoga program.

224. Famous B: Lucha Underground jobber who had his arm broken by Pentagon Jr. His most notable spot was hitting a Pedigree during a Battle Royal for an Aztec Medallion.

223. Dragon Azteca: Presumably trained Prince Puma. Though he was killed by Black Lotus, the legend of Dragon Azteca will live on…or something, I guess.

222. Tom Phillips: A strong utility man for WWE’s broadcast team. He can do anything from call a match on Smackdown or Main Event to handle backstage interviews down at NXT.

221. Billie Kay: NXT female jobber brought in as part of an apparent Australian talent raid.

220. Peyton Royce: Same.

219. Bael: Member of The Crew most notable as the one who was killed by Dario Cueto’s cage monster. 

218. Jojo: NXT ring announcer and backstage interviewer for WWE’s internet content. Handles cranky heels with utmost professionalism.

217. Marcus Louis: Had an interesting hairless monster character for a while but sadly that appears to have been dropped and Mr. Louis is rarely seen on NXT TV these days.

216. Lillian Garcia: Still messes up more than any ring announcer I’ve ever heard but she’s maintained her top position in WWE for well over a decade.

215. Chase Owens: The newest member of Bullet Club, designated to take the falls in Junior Heavyweight tag team matches.

214. Black Lotus: Featured in a number of Lucha Underground’s non-wrestling vignettes. Will most likely play into Season 2 as she killed Dragon Azteca and drove off with Dario Cueto.

213. Alex Riley: Left his cushy job on the NXT broadcast team to pursue vengeance against Kevin Owens. That…did not go well.

212. Stone Cold Steve Austin: His kayfabe-breaking “podcast” interviews are one of the best monthly features on WWE Network and are keeping Austin somewhat relevant to the current product.

211. Red Shoes Unno: New Japan’s most famous referee is the most authoritative of the crew but it doesn’t keep him from taking a lot of bumps from heelish wrestlers.

210. Super Fly: Lost a mask vs. mask match to Sexy Star and was a really poor sport about it afterwards.

209. AJ Lee: It had to be awkward working for a company that has become your husband’s mortal enemy and, understandably, Mrs. Punk retired shortly after Wrestlemania.

208. Angelo Dawkins: NXT jobber who has tried several different looks and gimmicks with little success.

207. Sawyer Fulton: Another NXT mainstay who is good enough to get on TV but not good enough to win or progress his presence on the show.

206. Jay White: One of NJPW’s Young Lions (trainees who wear plain black trunks and lose every match). He’s usually competitive but by design will never be booked to win in his current form.

205. David Finlay: The son of Fit Finlay is also paying his dues as a Young Lion in New Japan. I slotted him one spot higher because when he came out with White, he got his face on the Titantron.

204. Eden Stiles: A solid ring announcer for WWE though she still hasn’t developed a signature style or even much of a personality.

203. BUSHI: Recently returned to NJPW and joined the dastardly Los Ingobernables faction. His mist-spraying was instrumental in managing his team to a 5-1 record in World Tag League.

202. Yohei Komatsu: An NJPW Young Lion who shows arguably the most amount of frustration during his inevitable losses.

201. Sho Tanaka: If I had to guess which Young Lion is going to “graduate” first, Tanaka would be my pick.

200. Delavar Daivairi: Feuded with Texano in Lucha Underground before hiring Big Ryck and failing to obtain the Trios championship.

199. Juice Robinson: The former CJ Parker in NXT relocated to New Japan where he has since lost every match he’s been in. He often helps the crew at ringside so his position is clearly “Young Lion but not really but yeah”

198. Trece/Ricky Mandel: Current Trios champion in Lucha Underground. Least memorable of the jobbers before becoming a Disciple of Death.

197. Cody Hall: The son of Scott Hall followed in his father’s footsteps by joining Bullet Club and being part of the most influential, merch-moving heel stable in pro wrestling.

196. The Rock: Showed up at the Royal Rumble to help get Roman Reigns over. It backfired tremendously. Had a segment at Wrestlemania but that was mostly to segue into the Ronda Rousey spot. There are always rumors of his return floating around.

195. Jerry “The King” Lawler: “Demoted” to Smackdown, where fewer people have to listen to his lame jokes on commentary.

194. Jamie Noble: Was great as the goofier of Seth Rollins’s two bodyguards until Brock Lesnar came along and ruined everything.

193. Joey Mercury: And the other half of Seth’s team. Mercury did some fantastic character work as the silent yet paternal protector of the champion.

192. Maria Kanellis: An instrumental distraction for the ROH tag team champions. Captain New Japan and Karl Anderson are particularly susceptible to her snake-charming ways.

Maria provides distractions at ringside…for everyone.

191. Los Matadores: Diego and Fernando continued to exist only to bring out El Torito. Then they beat him up and have not been seen since.

190. Cameron: Jobber Diva who was shuffled out of the picture once Hashtag Divas Revolution was started.

189. Booker T: Like The King, his awful commentary was quietly transferred from Raw to Smackdown.

188. James Storm: A wily veteran of the “minor leagues” who showed up in NXT to grab a couple of squash wins and possibly a trainer job.

187. The Ascension: Konnor and Viktor are the new faces of NXT success stories getting buried on the main roster. Even when they return to Florida, it’s to put over a new up-and-coming team.

186. Zeb Colter: Returned to WWE after a year absence as Alberto Del Rio’s new manager. The resulting Mex-America angle was horrible, made no sense and was quickly shelved.

185. Solomon Crowe: An indie darling who arrived in NXT with a splash. Unfortunately he failed to catch on and was never really a good fit. He was recently released.

184. Captain New Japan: A wacky comedy character who usually takes the loss during NJPW’s mutli-man undercard tag matches. He is rarely included in important tournaments or events.

183. Mojo Rawley: Came back from an injury to form an oddball tag team with Zack Ryder in NXT. He has shown improvement since he eliminated most of his ass-based offense & the tag format better suits his boundless energy persona.

182. Marty “The Moth” Martinez: Goofball who claims to have Aztec blood kidnapped Sexy Star at the end of Lucha Underground’s first season. Bigger things are probably in store for Season 2.

181. William Regal: The commissioner of NXT might be the most competent, non-vindictive authority figure in the history of WWE. Miss him on commentary though.

180. El Torito: Was a highlight of the tag team Elimination Chamber match but hasn’t done much else besides getting dumped by Los Matadores and making a fast food commercial with JBL and Mark Henry.

179. Adam Rose: Garnered a lot of good will and support off a profile piece ESPN did on his real life. WWE chose to ignore it. He ditched his party lifestyle for a party pooper gimmick which is not going well. It’s entirely possible he didn’t win a match in 2015.

178. Matt Striker: Play-by-play man for Lucha Underground. He played well off of Vampiro on color commentary and added to the product.

177. Manabu Nakanishi: One of the old-timers who dwells at the bottom of the NJPW cards. He is often involved with the Young Lions and rarely comes out on the winning side.

176. Johnny Gargano: “Johnny Wrestling” made a surprise splash in NXT’s Dusty Rhodes tag team classic by advancing to the second round. Has since stuck around for a few tapings but is not officially on the roster.

175. Tomasso Ciampa: Teamed with Gargano in the above-mentioned tournament and recently had a great match with Samoa Joe on NXT TV.

174. Tama Tonga: His make-up, long beard and unique ring style make the son of Haku a stand-out character in Bullet Club. Sadly, he’s booked as a low level jobber member.

173. Zack Ryder: Doesn’t do much on the main roster anymore but he does show up in NXT to form an unlikely but effective duo with Mojo Rawley.

172. Carmella: “The Princess of Staten Island” has rode the coattails of Enzo Amore and Big Cass to a degree. When she’s on her own, she’s not nearly as successful or over.

171. Tommy Dreamer: Recently resurfaced as a recruited soldier for The Dudley Boys’ feud with the Wyatt Family. He’ll always get an ECW nostalgia pop.

170. Matt Taven: One half of the ROH tag team champions, The Kingdom, Taven and his partner Michael Bennett, often compete in NJPW as part of the cross-promotion between the two companies. Also briefly held the IWGP tag titles before losing them right back to Bullet Club.

169. Michael Bennett: The half of the Kingdom who is married to Maria Kanellis. He gets the pre-match kisses and more aggressive attempted protection from his wife.

168. Heath Slater: The One Man Rock Band continues to dwell near the bottom of the WWE roster. He attempted to accept John Cena’s US Title Open Challenge on several occasions but sadly, that was never paid off.

167. Tye Dillinger: NXT jobber who has finally found some personality as “The Perfect Ten.” It hasn’t led to much more success in the ring, however.

166. Pimpinella Escarlata: Lucha Underground’s resident Exotico. Participated in Trios matches and in Aztec Warfare but was one of the few left off the Ultima Lucha card.

165. Frankie Kazarian: Part of The Addiction, another team on loan to New Japan from ROH for tournaments and special occasions. He and his partner, Christopher Daniels, went a respectable 3-3 in World Tag League.

164. Christopher Daniels: The other half of The Addiction. He comes off as the leader, but that might just be because of the military uniform he wears to the ring.

163. Jey Uso: The WWE tag team scene took a hit when one of the twins missed a lot of action with a shoulder injury. Jey is back now and the Usos are right back in the title picture.

162. YOSHI-HASHI: A low level member of the NJPW faction known as CHAOS. He’s often included in high profile multi-man matches so that the important members of the team don’t have to take a fall.

161. Bull Dempsey: It’s never a good sign when Creative saddles you with a fat gimmick but the silly angle actually let Bull show some personality and get over.

160. Bo Dallas: Undeniably the least successful former NXT champion. Bo is currently languishing and losing on C level WWE programming.

159. El Siniestro de la Muerte/El Mariachi Loco: Current Trios champ with The Disciples of Death. Dario Cueto pulled Mariachi from his job as a waiter down the street, promising that Loco would play us a song after he won. Our loss, I guess.

158. Erick Rowan: After his run as a babyface was met with crickets, Rowan suffered an injury that caused him to miss most of the year. He recently returned to the Wyatt Family flock but is booked as the clear weak link.

157. Killshot: Joined LU during the Trios tournament. Lost a singles match to Fenix and a short feud with King Cuerno.

156. Jack Swagger: Spent more time on the rumored departures list than he did on WWE TV. Swagger recently resurfaced to feud with his former manager Zeb Colter, and the returning Alberto Del Rio.

155. Blue Pants: One of the most over performers in NXT and she’s not even officially on the roster. She’s the very definition of a lovable loser.

154. Dash Wilder &  Scott Dawson: These former NXT jobbers put a lot of work in and spent some time under the radar before becoming a tag team force in the second half of 2015. Their old school, no-nonsense style recently culminated in championship gold.

NXT tag team champions, Dash & Dawson

153. Mr. Cisco: His best moment was correcting Melissa Santos when she introduced him as “Cisco.”

152. Alex Shelley: Part time player in NJPW, normally teaming with KUSHIDA as the Time Splitters. KUSHIDA is so popular, Shelley usually takes their losses and comes off as the “Marty Jannetty” of the team.

151. Natalya: Briefly inserted herself into the Divas Revolution then promptly disappeared again. Presumably home taking care of her injured husband, Tyson Kidd.

150. Barreta: One half of Roppongi Vice with Rocky Romero, he’s the more reserved and level-headed member of the team. The duo recently advanced to the finals of NJPW’s junior heavyweight tag tournament but fell just short of winning.

149. Melissa Santos: Lucha Underground’s ring announcer. Notably adjusts her tone and inflection when introducing faces or heels. Saved by Sexy Star when Pentagon tried to break her arm.

148. Mascarita Sagrada: The only “mini” on Lucha Underground’s roster. Defeated El Mariachi Loco in singles action. Participated in a number of multi-man matches after that.

147. Yujiro Takahashi: Bullet Club’s resident pimp, often accompanied to the ring by a provocatively dressed young lady. He did not fare well in G1 Climax 25.

146. Byron Saxton: Promoted to permanent color man on both NXT and Raw, he provides the blandest of bland counterpoints to the heel announcers. More like Boring Saxton, amIright?

145. Tamina Snuka: Arguably the weakest link in the Divas Revolution, she is much better suited to the enforcer role she is normally asked to play.

144. Rocky Romero: He might be a little crazy but he freely admits it by yelling “Psycho!” a lot. The more entertaining half of the Roppongi Vice tag team.

RPG Vice

143. Mascara Dorada: A masked high flyer on the NJPW undercard. He’s usually lumped in with the Young Lions and the older guys where his high spots look more impressive.

142. Fandango: Ditching his Spanish makeover and bringing back his original Cha Cha La La theme song got the former Johnny Curtis another brief flash of being over. There was no substance behind it though and he’s currently back to obscurity.

141. Eva Marie: Rumors she was being pushed to the NXT Women’s title over Bayley were met with such disdain that they incorporated her undeserved push into the storyline. Maybe we were all just being worked. She’s still a legit terrible performer, though.

140. Chris Jericho: Had impressive showings with Neville and Kevin Owens on WWE Network’s televised house shows. Also showed up as a mystery partner for Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns where he took the loss and teased a heel turn.

139. Goldust: A bad year for Goldie as he lost his father and missed a lot of time with an injury. He’s back now and ready to job to the stars.

138. Jason Jordan: It took a long time for Jordan to find his footing but teaming with Chad Gable has done wonders for him. All he has to do now is bask in Gable’s infectious energy and charisma and reap the rewards.

137. Jimmy Uso: Spent some time as a Smackdown announcer while waiting for his brother to heal up from his injury. He wasn’t exactly a natural and must be very happy to be back in the ring.

136. Dana Brooke: NXT is a near-miracle-working developmental system but it doesn’t happen overnight. Watching Dana evolve and get incrementally better over the course of the year has been a highlight.

135. Jack Evans: Showcased some impressive athleticism. Won an Aztec Medallion in less impressive fashion by beating Argenis.

134. Colin Cassady: He is a better wrestler than his little buddy but he still often comes off as the second banana to the wildly charismatic Enzo Amore.

133. R-Truth: The veteran is still plugging away on WWE’s midcard. His perennial contender status has been played for laughs this year as he doesn’t always realize he hasn’t been booked into a multi-man title match.

132. Matt Sydal: The former Evan Bourne burst onto the NJPW landscape, immediately challenging Kenny Omega for the Junior Heavyweight title and winning a Junior tag tournament with Ricochet.

131. Cortez Castro: Best worker out of the Crew in Lucha Underground. Frequently found around bigger names as a hired thug.

130. Enzo Amore: The most charismatic man in NXT is going to ride his hilarious mic skills to great success some day. Hopefully he does not get hamstrung by scripted promos when he graduates to the main roster.

129. Gedo: One of the bookers in NJPW and a frequent loser of matches when teaming with his CHAOS stablemates. His greatest role, however, is as the enthusiastic mouthpiece for the normally stoic IWGP champion, Kazuchika Okada.

128. Yuji Nagata: A steady presence on NJPW’s undercard, Nagata always pops the crowd with the wacky faces he makes while locking in his submission holds. He doesn’t get a lot of meaningful wins, though.

127. Blake & Murphy: Had a long reign as NXT tag team champions before being dethroned by the Vaudevillains in Brooklyn. These days they spend most of their time as valets to their valet, Alexa Bliss.

126. Mark Henry: The World’s Strongest Man is basically a jobber now and it’s sad to see. He had a couple of late solid runs, but he will surely be looked back on as a career disappointment.

125. Bengala: Joined later in Lucha Underground’s first season. Won an Aztec Medallion and participated in the Gift of the Gods match at Ultima Lucha.

124. Alicia Fox: Has had a steady if unspectacular run as an unlikely “third” Bella twin.

123. Rhyno: The presence of the ECW vet has helped transform NXT from a developmental program to forging an identity as a corporately-owned indie promotion. His matches have been solid too.

122. Barrio Negro/Argenis: Current faceless Trios champion in Lucha Underground. Argenis is the cousin of the original Sin Cara but Dario Cueto put it best when he stated, “Nobody really cares about you, though.”

121. Nia Jax: Still very green but she has the lineage to be given every chance to make it. Her large stature could spell trouble for everyone in NXT’s women’s division if and when she starts figuring out the business.

120. Aiden English: The Vaudevillains is a quirky and very funny NXT gimmick that basically has no chance of translating on the main roster. They disappeared for a long stretch, but it wasn’t a repackaging; instead they captured tag team gold in Brooklyn.

119. Tiger Mask: A mainstay in NJPW’s undercard and Junior Heavyweight scene, Tiger Mask is the current NWA Jr Heavyweight champion and is set to defend against frequent partner, Jushin Liger, at Wrestle Kingdom 10.

118. Sami Zayn: Began the year as NXT champion and was a sure thing to get a main roster spot after a great match with John Cena on Raw. Unfortunately, his promotion was cut short by injury and he has spent most of the year on the shelf.

117. Hideo Itami: And here’s the other NXT hot ticket who had his fast track to the top derailed by injury. He was given a coveted spot in the Wrestlemania Battle Royale and would surely have spent a lot of time in the NXT title picture.

116. Kazushi Sakuraba: He may look worn out, but this shoot real badass fighter can tap anyone out. His part time status in New Japan keeps him from having a lasting impact on the company’s big picture.

115. Alexa Bliss: Emerged as a tremendous heel manager with some of the best disdainful facial expressions in the business. Blake & Murphy would be nothing without her.

114. Simon Gotch: More talented than the limited Vaudevillains gimmick allows him to express. Gotch’s unique style and weird flexibility might help him stand out from the pack down the road.

113. Curtis Axel: Accidentally struck gold when his complaints about never being eliminated from the Royal Rumble took on a viral life of their own and were incorporated into his character. Axelmania was running wild until the fall of Hulkamania killed it.

112. Chad Gable: It might be impossible to be charismatic just by doing wrestling moves, but by God, Chad Gable is making it possible. This guy is a star in the making and a joy to watch in NXT.

111. Konnan: The man behind the champ for most of Lucha Underground’s first season. His best moments were vignettes with Dario Cueto.

110. Emma: NXT turned Emma’s failed run on the main roster into part of the story upon her return to Florida. Emerging as “Evil Emma” she has ditched the silly dancing, formed an alliance with Dana Brooke and is getting her career back on track.

So evil…..yet I don’t care…

109. Jushin Thunder Liger: This living legend pulled off a true rarity when he performed for NXT in Brooklyn while still being a part of NJPW. He may not fly like he used to, but he is crafty and rarely loses.

108. Brie Bella: Clearly took a back seat to her twin sister as Nikki was pushed as a dominant Divas champion. Her improvement seems to have peaked and she might be eternally awkward in the ring.

107. Rich Brennan: If he’s not already the best play-by-play man in wrestling, he is well on his way. Knowledgeable and genuinely interested in what he’s calling, Brennan is a perfect, understated presence on both NXT and Smackdown.

106. Sin Cara: At this point it’s safe to say that Sin Cara is not going to catch on as WWE’s next great Mexican star. Hitching himself to Kalisto’s ride has bought him a steady paycheck, though.

105. Kyle O’Reilly: One half of ReDragon with Bobby Fish, an ROH team that appears somewhat regularly in NJPW. They are booked strong even on foreign soil and currently hold the IWGP Junior Heavyweight tag titles.

104. Bobby Fish: Fish comes off as the leader of ReDragon, perhaps because he’s more vocal during their matches. He also gets one spot higher for being from the Albany, NY area, which is where I live.

103. Tyson Kidd: Was having a very successful run in the WWE tag team division with Cesaro until a freak, potentially life-threatening neck injury derailed his career. Here’s hoping he will be back in the ring and at top form again someday.

102. Texano: Brought into Lucha Underground to continue his AAA feud with Alberto El Patron. Nothing terribly memorable after that as he fought with Daivairi and Blue Demon Jr.

101. Darren Young: Reunited with Titus O’Neil to make another run as the Prime Time Players, this time earning some long-awaited championship gold. Having landed that notch on their resume, the duo was quietly disbanded once again at the end of 2015.

100. Renee Young: Remained a solid member of the broadcast team though she may have hit her ceiling. Her “Unfiltered” interview show on WWE Network is wonderful and should be expanded.

99. D’Von Dudley: The Dudley Boys returned to WWE and added even more depth to a pretty solid tag team division. Currently feuding with the Wyatt Family and recruiting even more ECW alums into the fold.

98. Bubba Ray Dudley: Gets the higher ranking because he handles most of the promo work and had one extra appearance when he showed up in the Royal Rumble.

97. JBL: Still yells way too much on commentary and needs to definitively stick to his heel alignment. If you were to list the problems Raw has (and there are many), JBL would probably be on it.

96. Blue Demon Jr.: He is Mexico! Demon’s story and contribution in Lucha Underground got a little weird when story adjustments had to be made due to Chavo Guerrero’s injury.

95. Braun Strowman: He’s not quite ready for prime time but he’s big and has a beard so he’s a perfect fit for the Wyatt Family. He’s been booked as an unstoppable monster but has already looked stoppable. Part of a larger ineptitude problem the whole family is facing.

94. Damien Sandow: His amazing run as The Miz’s stunt double culminated at Wrestlemania where he turned on Miz and finished runner-up in the Andre the Giant Battle Royale. He moved on to a horrible Macho Man impression before becoming buried and off television yet again. Remember, kids. Don’t get over on your own.

93. Satoshi Kojima: One of the few older wrestlers in New Japan who is somewhat relevant to the big picture. He had a mediocre performance in G1 Climax 25 and challenged for the IWGP tag titles at Destruction along with his partner, Tenzan.

92. Ivelisse: Won the Lucha Underground Trios title tournament with Son of Havoc and Angelico. Working through a broken leg was admirable but definitely limited what she could do during the season.

91. Paul Heyman: Heyman can still work wonders on a microphone but his Brock Lesnar shtick is getting a bit long in the tooth. He did his best to get Roman Reigns over as a threat but comparing him to the all-time greats was embarrassing even for the greatest hype man in the business.

90. Summer Rae: Her love story involving Rusev, Lana and Dolph Ziggler was a lowlight of WWE’s programming this year. Still, Summer almost pulled a miracle and made it work. She’s got more talent than she’s allowed to show.

89. The Young Bucks: Some consider the Matt and Nick Jackson to be the best tag team in the business and it’s hard to argue. Their profane antics might rub some the wrong way but their innovative tandem offense is undeniably cool.

88. The Mack: Don’t let looks deceive you; The Mack is amazing.

87. Naomi: A heel turn was long overdue but it still didn’t lead to a championship for the former Funkadactyl. Now she’s being overshadowed by her own stablemate, Sasha Banks, and it appears she may never taste gold.

86. Hiroyoshi Tenzan: The other slightly relevant old guy in NJPW. He and his partner, Kojima, can occasionally make some noise in tournaments but are never a true threat to win.

85. Baron Corbin: Taking longer to develop than expected, his minute-long squash victories really weren’t helping his progress in the ring or his connection with the crowd. He has shown improvement lately and could someday be the force NXT and WWE clearly want him to be.

84. Ryusuke Taguchi: His wacky character and ass-based moveset are unlike anything else in New Japan. His spot as a comedy wrestler might be something he has to overcome if he wants to be a threat at the main event level.

“The Funky Weapon” Ryusuke Taguchi (the funky weapon is his butt)

83. Michael Cole: Still the voice of WWE. Though he is not on every show like he once was, he is still frustratingly bad as the anchor for Raw and Live Specials.

82. “King of Darkness” EVIL: With his giant scythe and laser finger gloves, EVIL is the most over-the-top gimmick in NJPW. Even so, Los Ingobernables are being pushed as a dangerous new faction and EVIL is leading the charge.

81. Aerostar: Had some good moments but never quite rose out of the Lucha Underground midcard. Returned to outer space at the end of Ultima Lucha.

80. Titus O’Neil: The big man finally acheieved tag team gold with Darren Young, though their reign was brief. He’s great on the mic and booked as a powerhouse, but he’s still a bit clunky and awkward.

79. Vampiro: His enthusiasm on the mic outweighed his lack of polish. Somehow made Matt Striker palatable. Finished Lucha Underground’s first season in a brutal match with Pentagon Jr where it was revealed he was the Dark Master. Interested to see what Season 2 holds for Vamp.

78. Hernandez: Did an impressive job of turning shoot heat into worked heat. The Believer’s Backlash match was the perfect end to his arc in Lucha Underground.

77. Luke Harper: He’s one of the best workers in WWE, but his look limits his ceiling. His return to the Wyatt Family was a slight step back but it just suits him better to stand behind Bray.

76. Michael Elgin: A true powerhouse from ROH who came to NJPW to participate in G1 Climax 25. His amazing feats of strength won the crowds over during the tournament and he returned for World Tag League with a hero’s welcome.

75. Asuka: The Japanese star is being used very well in NXT so far. Her offense looks convincing and brutal. Her limited English has been turned into an advantage as she can say a lot with just a look. Silent but deadly.

Asuka…is going to kill you.

74. Angelico: Won the Lucha Underground Trios championship tournament with the Unlikely Trio. Had one of LU’s most memorable moments when he leapt off the roof of Dario Cueto’s office.

73. KUSHIDA: One of the brightest young stars in New Japan, KUSHIDA is always in the Junior Heavyweight title pictures either flying solo or with his Time Splitter partner, Alex Shelley. He would get over on pure ability but his Back to the Future get-up helps him stand out even more.

72. Stardust: Nobody gets into character more than Cody Rhodes and Stardust’s descent into supervillain madness has been masterful. He is, ahem, criminally underutilized.

Stahhhhhhr-dusssst

71. Kalisto: WWE may have finally found someone to fill the void left behind by Rey Mysterio. This luchador is money when he gets going and his advancement in the WWE World title tournament proves that the front office knows it.

70. Becky Lynch: With Charlotte’s genes and Sasha Banks’ talent, Becky was in danger of being the overlooked third call-up during the Divas Revolution. That has happened to a degree but her natural charm and enthusiasm should keep her hovering near the big picture for a while.

69. King Barrett: It’s becoming more apparent that Barrett will never be the top shelf heel he could have been if the Nexus hadn’t been buried. Whether it’s the IC title or the King of the Ring, his only purpose for winning prestigious things seems to be getting booked like a loser afterward.

68. Chavo Guerrero Jr.: Chavo wrestled Blue Demon Jr. in Lucha Underground’s first televised match. He did some nice heel work after that but his arc was ultimately hindered when he suffered an injury during a title match with Prince Puma.

67. Tomoaki Honma: The lovable loser of NJPW. Despite his poor record, Honma always puts up a great fight and somehow keeps himself in the NEVER openweight title conversation.

66. Toru Yano: The co-founder of the CHAOS stable might be the best comedy wrestler working today. He’s a refreshing change of pace, especially when he drags the deadly serious guys down to his level.

65. Big Ryck: Dario Cueto’s top enforcer before The Crew turned on him and burned out his eye. Ryck was always a presence but his stock dropped as the Lucha Underground season went on.

64. Stephanie McMahon: The Authority is getting played out and even they can’t decide if they’re heels or faces most of the time. They exist to give recaps and set up obstacles even if it’s for their own allies. It’s a mess.

63. Bad Luck Fale: The Underboss of the Bullet Club and the runaway largest guy on the NJPW roster. His push as a singles wrestler is stop and start as he did well in G1 Climax, even defeating eventual winner Hiroshi Tanahashi (with some help) but then he falls back into a small rivalry with Yano where he can’t even get the upper hand.

62. Son of Havoc: Started out as a heelish loser but once the crowd got behind him, he and the Unlikely Trio won gold in Lucha Underground’s Trios Tournament.

61. Lana: Once rumored to be the new female face of WWE, Lana’s stock plummeted in the second half of the year after a poorly executed angle that removed her from the side of real-life beau, Rusev. A lack of chemistry with Dolph Ziggler, a broken hand and an angle-ruining engagement all served to torpedo the Ravishing Russian’s rise to the top.

60. The Big Show: Stayed relevant early in 2015 by being a cog in The Authority. That kind of just faded away. His constantly shifting face/heel alignments are almost a gag at this point but he’s always around in some capacity.

59. Doc Gallows: The most foul-mouthed member of the Bullet Club doesn’t do very well when he strikes out on his own but when he teams with Karl Anderson, they are a legit force. The duo have reigned as IWGP tag champs for most of the last 2 years.

58. Triple H: His weird feud with Sting devolved into a fun, if unearned nostalgia payoff. His on-screen managing style is frustratingly schizo but his real life management gives us the wonderful gem that is NXT.

57. Kota Ibushi: The flexible high-flyer is always a match of the year waiting to happen when he is in singles action. Being signed to two companies probably hurts him and NJPW may never give him the ball to run with. Sadly missing time with an injury at the moment.

56. Tyler Breeze: His NXT arc of never winning the big matches didn’t have a payoff before he was called up to the main roster. He’s been booked as important and competent so far in WWE.

55. Neville: Got his long-awaited call-up to the main roster and didn’t disappoint, wowing the crowds with his high flying acrobatics. He’s a solid midcarder now, proving there is hope that not everyone from NXT is doomed to failure.

54. Katsuyori Shibata: Legit badass who throws the stiffest-looking forearm shots in the business. There’s no reason this guy shouldn’t be a perennial contender except for, ya know, good ol’ wrestling politics.

53. Sting: The face of WCW finally made his in-ring debut for WWE and went 0-2. Even 15 years after the purchase, WCW will not be allowed to look like a threat.

52. Kenny Omega: The current IWGP Junior Heavyweight champion is one of the only Bullet Club members to consistently be booked as a winner. He’s deceptively strong and an entertaining psychopath of a character. (He may also run Bullet Club HR as he once mentioned how many resumes he has to sort through.)

Omega is an Alpha

51. Daniel Bryan: Finally returned from injury to participate in the Royal Rumble where he promptly hijacked the narrative for the second straight year. He was set to return the IC title to prominence post-Wrestlemania but has been dealing with concussion issues that have kept him on the shelf surrounded by mystery and doubt about his return.

50. The Miz: His value to WWE continues to swing more toward being an ambassador for the company as he steadily gets himself booked into TV and movie roles. Doubtful he will ever make it back to the main event scene.

49. Kimihiko Ozaki: For my money, the best ring announcer in the business even though I don’t speak Japanese. The excited inflection and exaggeration he puts into every wrestler’s announcement makes even the lowliest Young Lion sound important. I’d be lying if I said one of the reasons I fell in love with New Japan wasn’t “NAKAMURA SHINSKAAAAAYYYY!” This guy basically lives in my head.

48. Tomohiro Ishii: Speaking of reasons to love NJPW, the Stone Pitbull is a straight-up, hard-hitting, take-no-prisoners, mean little troll of a man, who welcomes and laughs at your little baby punches to his perpetually scowling face.

“The Stone Pitbull” Tomohiro Ishii

47. Hirooki Goto: One of the NJPW talents who is bordering just on the edge of being a big time player. He defeated Okada during G1 Climax but couldn’t maintain his hold on the IC belt against Shinsuke Nakamura.

46. Kane: It’s incredible that Kane is still being booked into world title feuds basically two decades into his career. His split personality between Corporate and Demon Kane was the most entertaining he’s been in a while.

45. Catrina: Currently controls all the top prizes in the Temple. She may be Lucha Underground’s most dominant force.

44: Ryback: “The Big Guy” finally won his first championship in WWE, capturing the IC title in an Elimination Chamber match. Has secured himself a spot on the upper midcard and the damage done by his ill-fated heel turn is long-forgotten.

43. Cage: Came on the scene strong as Lucha Underground’s “WWE-type guy”, ripping the original title belt in half but ultimately failing to beat Prince Puma. Fell down the card after that but finished the season strong with a win over The Mack at Ultima Lucha.

42. Apollo Crews: This guy might be the most “total package” to come along in a long time. He’s an athletic high-flyer in the body of a muscleman. He’s already in the NXT title picture and he has a very good chance to be the next big thing.

41. Togi Makabe: An upper midcarder in NJPW, the “Unchained Gorilla” is always a threat to hold one of the lower heavyweight championships or hand someone a defeat in a tournament.

40. Cesaro: Pound for pound the strongest man in wrestling and one of the most dynamic performers in the world. The continual stops and starts to his push are one of the most frustrating things about WWE right now. If Vince thinks Cesaro is boring, then he truly is as out of touch as the IWC believes he is.

39. Corey Graves: Graves’ transformation from annoying, mediocre wrestler to best heel commentator in the business has been one of NXT’s greatest success stories. He’s funny, he makes sense and he’s paying attention. In WWE, that makes you stand out.

38. King Cuerno: One of Lucha Underground’s top heels. He stayed near the top of the card but never brought home any gold.

37. Rusev: Like so many before him, his monster push ended at the hands of John Cena. He’s great in the ring and underrated on the mic so hopefully he will fight through the horrible angles and injuries he’s had to deal with so he can keep the spot he deserves.

36. Paige: Though the gold was in Camp Bella, Paige was the real centerpiece of the Divas division this year. Though they can’t decide if she’s a face or a heel, which is a real problem, she has had rivalries and interactions with every other woman on the roster.

35. Randy Orton: As predicted in my rankings last year, Orton has struggled to stay relevant as he gets older and the new stars start to occupy the top spots. He was a token challenger who had little chance of winning against newly minted champion, Seth Rollins. Orton has found real life happiness and the rumor that he wants a part-timer’s schedule most likely means his run at the top is over.

34. Samoa Joe: His reputation preceded him so much by the time he got to NXT that they didn’t even bother to change his name. He was a bit out of shape at first but has since worked his way back into form and is one of the dominant forces on the roster.

33. Dolph Ziggler: Looked like he was finally in position to be a top guy at the beginning of the year but immediately sunk back down into midcard hell. His terrible angle with Lana and Rusev did no one any favors.

32. Karl Anderson: A strong showing in G1 Climax 25 and a shot at Nakamura’s IC title indicate there’s a future for the Machine Gun as a singles star. With the rumored departure of AJ Styles, Anderson could become the new leader of Bullet Club.

31. Alberto Del Rio: Whether it’s in Lucha Underground as Alberto El Patron or in a surprise return to WWE as Alberto Del Rio, the Mexican star commands attention wherever he goes. Still, there’s something intangible missing and he never comes off as important as he thinks he is.

30. Sexy Star: Lucha Underground’s top female star proved that in the Temple, women can keep up with the men, scoring big wins over Chavo Guerrero and Pentagon Jr.

I’ll give you a topic. Sexy Star is both sexy and a star; discuss.

29. Charlotte: It was obvious from the start of the Divas Revolution that the daughter of Nature Boy Ric Flair would be the one WWE wanted to hitch its wagon to. Kind of bland as a babyface, even when champion, she’s finally starting to lean into her roots and take on her dad’s heelish tendencies.

28. Drago: The epitome of what makes Lucha Underground  both refreshing and awesome. A dragon reincarnated as a luchador who may or may not have transformed back into a dragon when leaving the arena on two occasions.

27. Nikki Bella: The WWE Divas champion for most of the year and booked as the most important member of Team Bella. She put in the work and deserved to be champion so it’s easy to ignore her lack of defenses and the rumored politics behind her record-setting reign.

26. The Undertaker: The Dead Man showed up more than usual this year with four pay-per-view matches. His wars with Brock Lesnar were better than the one that ended the streak but those good efforts were counterbalanced by the shameful neutering of Bray Wyatt.

25. Sasha Banks: She had three legitimate match of the year candidates in NXT before moving up to the main roster to do…next to nothing. She’s in that exclusive club of people the crowd wants to see but WWE refuses to show because it’s not the plan they came up with. Sasha, meet Zack, Daniel, Dolph, Dean, Antonio, Damien and Phil.

24. Sheamus: I can’t offhand think of a world champion who was less over when he won the strap. (David Arquette?). WWE’s answer to the revolt against Roman Reigns being shoved down our throats was to book an even worse champion. Sadly, it kinda worked. I now want Reigns to be champion just to get this inevitability over with.

23. Pentagon Jr.: Brings more to the table than just a unique look. Started slow as Chavo’s lackey but gradually became one of Lucha Underground’s most compelling stories as he kept breaking arms for his Dark Master.

22. Tetsuya Naito: A heel turn did wonders for the former Stardust Genius. His actions as a member of Los Ingobernables transformed him into one of the best bad guys in the business. He beats up cameramen and officials. He at times is completely disinterested in what’s going on around him. He takes…forever…to…start…a…match. And it’s all hilarious.

Tetsuya Naito: the dirtiest player in the game.

21. Bray Wyatt: The reforming of the Wyatt Family was a very good thing but Wyatt continues to lose every prominent feud he is in. He can cut a promo with the best of them but his message is wearing thin since he never, ever backs up what he’s saying.

20. Johnny Mundo: Lucha Underground’s recognizable “WWE Guy,” Mundo looked better than ever while wrestling in the Temple.

19. Bayley: The member of the “Four Horsewomen” who was left behind in NXT. It may have been for the best, though. While her friends struggle to find their footing on the main roster, Bayley gets to stay in Florida to be the best, most well-defined pure babyface hero in wrestling.

18. Fenix: First ever and current Lucha Underground “Gift of the Gods” champion. His “Grave Consequences” match will be found on a lot of match of the year lists.

17. Dean Ambrose: The Lunatic Fringe is still plugging away near the top of the card but never quite breaking through. WWE cashes in on his popularity whenever they need a credible contender but they always pull the rug out in the end.

16. AJ Styles: It’s a pretty big deal to be a non-Japanese world champion in Japan but the leader of Bullet Club feels less like a top guy and more like a transition because they can’t run Okada vs. Tanahashi every single time.

15. Kevin Owens: Just because all the newly signed wrestlers have to go through NXT first, doesn’t mean there can’t be a surprise debut on the main roster. Owens starting his feud with John Cena was an unforgettable moment. Even though the rivalry ended predictably, Owens refused to slide into irrelevancy, staying on the upper midcard and winning the IC title.

14-12. The New Day: The trio of Big E, Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods are operating at such a higher level than anyone else in WWE, I actually found myself contemplating if they should be #1. I get giggle fits as soon as they skip onto the screen. Ultimately, I couldn’t separate them in any meaningful way. Since they Freebird the tag titles, I’m letting them Freebird three consecutive spots on this list.

New Day rocks

11. Dario Cueto: It’s Cueto’s world, others just wrestle in it. The on-screen promoter of Lucha Underground is frequently the top reason to tune in.

Behold! An authority figure who makes sense.

10. Finn Balor: He has owned NXT from the moment he set foot in it. Balor has all the tools to be one of WWE’s brightest stars for the next decade plus.

9. Shinsuke Nakamura: One of the reasons to love NJPW. Nakamura oozes charisma and marches to the beat of his own drummer. Though he’s proven that “the man makes the title” by elevating the IC strap to the top of the card, he’s the kind of performer who doesn’t need a championship to be interesting. If he signs with WWE next year, I will lose my shit. (in a good way).

8. Prince Puma: Lucha Underground’s first champion and the focus of most of its top storylines. Also appeared in NJPW as Ricochet, winning the Super Juniors tag tournament with Matt Sydal.

7. Brock Lesnar: The Beast Incarnate continues to be the WWE’s most special attraction and it’s not just because of his limited appearances. He’s a once in a generation talent. Watching him show up on Network televised house shows to destroy people he normally wouldn’t face is fun and I hope it continues next year.

6. Roman Reigns: WWE’s main focus in 2015 was trying to repair the damage done by Reigns’main event push that was perceived by the majority of fans to be undeserved. He’s gotten much better as a wrestler but his character is inconsistent and his mic skills are atrocious.

5. Mil Muertes: An unstoppable force of nature who currently holds Lucha Underground’s top prize. Was only slowed down briefly when his manager set him up to die so that he could be more powerful upon his resurrection.

4. John Cena: Took a step back from the main event scene to the delight of everyone. Even more delightful was his US Open challenge which freshened up the midcard scene and turned a John Cena Raw segment into something that actually made the show better.

3. “Rainmaker” Kazuchika Okada: It’s a tale as old as time- When will the young man rise up and knock the established older guy out of the top spot? The rivalry between Okada and Hiroshi Tanahashi has been NJPW’s biggest story for quite a while and is fairly even at the moment. On Okada’s end, he has been the world champ for most of the year.

Kazuchika Okada

2. Hiroshi Tanahashi: As for the Ace of the Universe, he is not going down without a fight. He stood tall at Wrestle Kingdom 9 before losing the belt to AJ Styles. In August, he won G1 Climax 25 to ensure that his bitter feud with Okada will have at least one more chapter.

1.Seth Rollins: Here’s a fun fact: If Seth Rollins hadn’t blown out his knee, he would have been involved in every single WWE World Title match in 2015. He might not have been booked as a strong champion but that does not mean he wasn’t the company’s top guy. He’s a next level performer in the ring (something he hopefully won’t have to scale too far back on when he returns.) and he knows how to push the crowd’s buttons on the mic.

Rollins was rollin’ in 2015. Was…

WWE Year End Power Rankings

It was a year of loss in WWE. It all began in January when CM Punk abruptly quit the business without public explanation. Daniel Bryan finally cemented his status as a top tier guy, only to have it ripped away by a career-threatening injury. Batista came back but left again just as he was finding his stride. Seth Rollins broke our collective heart when he destroyed The Shield. Roman Reigns, set to be the break out star from that fallout, was soon after put on the shelf with a hernia. And of course, the massive stock price drop in the wake of the new WWE Network’s underperformance & a less-than-projected television deal led to a major trimming of the roster.

Still, in the midst of these chaotic times for the front office, the television product keeps chugging along, some of it great, some of it not-so-great. Here is my list of the performers who had the most impact on the show in 2014. It’s the 2nd annual WWE Year End Power Rankings*:

*Parentheses indicate last year’s ranking and movement upward or downward.

100. Aksana (83, -17): The lovely Lithuanian was let go as part of the great roster purge of June 2014. Even after 4 years with the company, she still looked green and was overly prone to injuring other Divas.

99. David Otunga (88, -11): Having somehow survived the roster cuts, the A-Lister is the new champion of the “this guy is still around?” conversation. He had a cup of coffee in the Wrestlemania Battle Royal, but was otherwise unseen for the entire calendar year.

98. Josh Mathews (85, -13): Things had been looking up for the long time floating announcer when the network debuted and he finally found a role as the host of the Raw pre and post shows. Unfortunately, being used more didn’t stop him from getting cut and replaced by Renee Young.

97. Brad Maddox (68, -29): The Authority taking on a full time television role made GMs for individual shows superfluous, so Maddox was written off of Raw. He still has a presence on WWE’s internet content but has yet to be seen on television since getting the boot.

96. Tyler Breeze (-,-): NXT got a tag team showcase on a summer episode of Raw and the up and comers did not waste the opportunity. Unfortunately for “Prince Pretty,” he was a bit overshadowed by his opponents. He will undoubtedly get a call up and be higher on this list in 2015.

95. Eden (-,-): Mrs. Cody Rhodes graduated to main roster ring announcing to replace the departed Justin Roberts. She has not drawn attention to herself either with mistakes or by being really great at the job. She could have the gig for years, she could lose it next week.

94. Brodus Clay (47, -47): He lost his music. He lost his tag team partner. He lost his dancers. He lost his job.

Funk is rolling out the door.

93. Byron Saxton (-,-): A reliable utility player on the announcing team, Byron can competently handle everything from house show ring announcing to a slightly heelish analyst on Main Event and everything in between.

92. The Great Khali (55, -37): One of the head-scratching roster cut survivors, the little-used big man was finally shown the door in the fall. He can still be seen walking slowly and stiffly into the sunset.

91. Ricardo Rodriguez (60, -31): Had a few matches in NXT hiding under a luchador mask but was only seen as the Rodriguez character when he was at the Spanish announcer’s table for pay-per-views.  Asked for and received a release.

90. Eva Marie (77, -13): Doesn’t see much in-ring action as she is still very green. Her primary role is to continue taking up space on the Total Divas reality show.

89. Adrian Neville (-,-): The high-flyer only had one match on the main roster but he took full advantage, leaving the WWE Universe’s collective jaw dropped with his swift kicks and electric finisher. A nine month reign as NXT Champion all but guarantees he will be called up in 2015.

88. Rey Mysterio (49, -39): Rey’s biggest moment of the year came at the Royal Rumble when he was booed simply because he wasn’t Daniel Bryan in the #30 spot. He has been locked in a bitter contract dispute and has been refused the release he has very publicly been asking for.

87. Booker T (69, -18): The Hall of Famer reestablished a television presence by becoming a permanent fixture on the pre and post show expert panels. He doesn’t always make sense, but he is never boring.

86. Darren Young (43, -43): Young didn’t get much TV time in 2014 when he was lost to an ACL injury. There were rumors he was going to be revealed as the man behind Adam Rose’s bunny, but that never materialized.

85. Sami Zayn (-,-): Like Breeze and Neville, Zayn impressed the crowd during the Raw showcase of NXT talent. His hard fought losses to Tyson Kidd on Main Event clearly indicate that his permanent status on the main roster is imminent.

84. Alex Riley (78, -6): Pulls double duty as an NXT announcer and a panelist on the network pre and post shows. Has shown improvement in the last year but can still be a bit annoying at times.

83. Jinder Mahal (61, -22): Easily the most shocking moment of the roster purge came when 2/3 of the 3 Man Band were handed the pink slip. 3MB was quietly doing an effective job as midcard jobbers and spent a good portion of the year involved in the surprisingly engaging blood feud between Hornswoggle and El Torito.

82. Drew McIntyre (54, -28): You idiots! He was the most talented one!

81. Tom Phillips (-,-): A solid play by play man who is clearly on the rise and being groomed to take over lead announcing duties on the diminished Smackdown brand.

80. Sting (-,-): The Franchise of WCW made his long overdue debut in WWE at Survivor Series. He may have “changed the course of history” in storyline, but his appearance was about fifteen years too late to have any lasting role as an in-ring performer. The dude is 55.

79. Rosa Mendes (87, +8): Got more TV time in 2014 when she was added to the cast of Total Divas, but she is still mostly horrible in the ring. She has been included as part of Fandango’s Spanish reboot, but she’s not a great dancer either.

78. Emma (-,-): The poster child for the main roster’s bungling of a character that was popular in NXT. Emma’s promotion was a disaster from the start, as she was paired in a comedy romance of sorts with Santino that fell flat at every turn. An alleged shoplifting incident cost her her job for a few hours until she was reinstated. She had a good showing at Survivor Series, so she may yet still dig her way out of a self-inflicted burial.

Oops.

77. Zack Ryder (66, -11): Not much TV time for the Long Island Broski in 2014. His fifteen minutes are officially up and he should be thankful he wasn’t part of the roster cuts. Yet.

76. Cameron (59, -17): After the break-up of the Funkadactyls, she developed a pretty good role as a conceited heel. It’s her ring work that leaves a lot to be desired. Calling for the ref to count a pin while your opponent is on their stomach is the kind of blooper that lives in infamy forever.

75. Vickie Guerrero (64, -11): Left WWE to pursue another career, presumably one where she won’t be humiliated on the reg.  She was sent off in very memorable fashion after a quick face turn and a bit of revenge on the antagonistic Stephanie McMahon.

74. The Rock (6, -68): The Rock’s impact on the WWE product in 2014 was significantly less than in previous years. He shared the ring with Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin in an iconic opening segment at Wrestlemania. He also showed up unexpectedly at one Raw to verbally dress down Lana and Rusev.

73. Naomi (58, -15): If the Divas have a midcard, Naomi is stuck in it.

72. Justin Gabriel (67, -5): A staple of the B and C shows, the South African superstar continues to languish near the bottom of the roster. Me inexplicably ranking him higher than The Rock is the best thing that happened to him this year.  Ehh…I hate The Rock.  https://theirishwhipblog.wordpress.com/2013/03/30/5-reasons-why-i-hate-the-rock/

71. Santino Marella (52, -19): His courtship of Emma was an embarrassing flop. He announced his retirement at a house show but it was never acknowledged on TV. Has recently been used in non-competitive roles such as Larry the Cable Guy’s friend, interim Smackdown GM and Slammy presenter.

70. Xavier Woods (71, +1): His most prominent match was at Extreme Rules when he teamed with R-Truth to take on Rusev. It did not go well. Formed an angry black man stable with Big E and Kofi Kingston but it was quietly killed before it ever got off the ground. The faction recently returned to television as dancing, super happy babyfaces, the very thing Xavier was trying to rally his men against.

69. The Undertaker (35, -34): The Streak was ended in one of the most shocking moments of the year. Perhaps even more shocking should have been how bad the Dead Man looked during his one performance. He was sent to the hospital after his match with Brock Lesnar and he might be done for good this time.

68. Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury (-,-): It was a welcome and pleasant surprise when two of WWE’s road agents were given onscreen roles as the next generation of Briscoe and Patterson-esque stooges for The Authority. It looks like they might even stick around post-Authority as Seth Rollins’ personal security detail.

67. Sin Cara (70, +3): There’s a new man under the mask but mostly the same losing results on the main roster. He did, however, become an NXT tag team champion; the first established star to win gold in the developmental promotion.

66. The Bunny (-,-): When you’re accompanied to the ring by a dozen weirdos, one of them is bound to upstage you and that is exactly what happened to Adam Rose. Though reportedly played by several different superstars, there is no denying that whoever is in the bunny suit is helping keep the Exotic Express consistently on television.

“Hey, ‘guy with the rabbit’ is better than ‘guy who used to work here.'”

65. Tamina Snuka (73, +8): The daughter of the Superfly had a good run as AJ Lee’s enforcer, even challenging Paige for the Divas title at Extreme Rules. She disappeared after that loss and has not been seen since.

64. The New Age Outlaws (-,-): Billy Gunn and Road Dogg proved they could still go in the ring when they came back for the Road to Wrestlemania. They added another tag team title reign to their team resume and made a perfectly sensible heel turn to join their longtime cohort, Triple H, in the Authority.

63. Layla (82, +19): A much more productive year for the veteran of the Divas locker room. She had a somewhat prominent love triangle storyline when she became Fandango’s new dance partner after he dumped Summer Rae.

62. Zeb Colter (31, -31): The once controversial character was even further neutered in 2014 by a face turn. He can still cut a decent promo, but the fact that he manages an inconsistent midcarder doesn’t put much weight behind his words.

61. Natalya (45, -16): Like Naomi, Nattie Neidhart also got lost in the shuffle a bit this year. She wasn’t in the title picture and she’s not a Bella. There wasn’t much room on the programs for a third Divas storyline. Even though Tyson Kidd draws the derogatory ‘Nattie’s Husband’ chants, the truth is Natalya’s biggest onscreen role lately has been as Kidd’s Wife.

60. Jerry “The King” Lawler (72, +12): His rise in the rankings has more to do with the roster getting some necessary fat trimming in 2014 than because of his continuing deterioration as a color commentator.

59. R-Truth (51, -8): The veteran slipped further into irrelevance this year but can still be counted on as enhancement talent for an up and coming villain. Ended Bo Dallas’ undefeated streak.

58. Los Matadores (50, -8): The bullfighters were briefly de facto title contenders when all the other possible contenders seemed to disappear. Their most prominent position was seconding their mascot, El Torito, during his blood feud with Hornswoggle.

57. JBL (56, -1): Continues to be a mixed bag at the announce table, fluctuating between being the logical voice of reason and an over-the-top angry heel who yells over his partners.

56. Summer Rae (65, +9): Became the first Diva to be cast in a WWE Films production. Got a lot of screen time feuding with Fandango and Layla upon her return. More talented in the ring than she has been allowed to show on the main roster.

55. Titus O’Neil (46, -9): His singles career has disproved his hypothesis that Darren Young was the reason he loses all the time. Formed an on-again, off-again comedy tag team with Heath Slater that is not exactly a rocket ship to the top of the card.

54. Vince McMahon (62, +8): Appeared on television for the first time since his passive-aggressive feud with Triple H in the summer of 2013. He set in motion the stipulations that would remove his daughter and son-in-law from their onscreen roles as The Authority.

53. Curtis Axel (26, -27): The son of Mr. Perfect spent the year in exile on the de-push list, having failed to get over as a Paul Heyman guy. He found some unlikely tag team chemistry with fellow castoff, Ryback, and the pair were briefly in title contention. Ryback was dusted off and given a second chance at the top. Axel was sent back to the C shows to relive his Michael McGillicutty years.

52. Christian (40, -12): The veteran was gaining traction as a heel desperate for one more moment in the sun until he was sidelined with yet another concussion. It appears he has retired for now, only showing up on expert panels, network specials and the occasional Peep Show segment.

51. Michael Cole (57, -6): A leak of unedited audio for Smackdown revealed that Cole’s awfulness might not be all his fault. His willingness to say whatever he is told to say has kept him as lead announcer on WWE’s top three weekly shows. He’s like the cockroach of announcers.

50. Big E (19, -31): Another performer who was thrown onto the discard pile in 2014. He lost his IC championship at Extreme Rules, but even before that, the shine was off his push. He lost a feud to Rusev and was recently repackaged as part of the New Day faction. Only time will tell if this can be the kickstart the big man needs.

49. Heath Slater (53, +4): The surviving member of 3MB got a brief winning streak “push” that began when he defeated Seth Rollins with help from Dean Ambrose. The Slater-Gator tag team is oddly enjoyable but at this point, it seems unlikely Slater will ever be anything besides jobber to the stars.

48. Hornswoggle (94, +46): An unexpected dose of relevance for the former Little Bastard came when he entered into a blood feud with fellow little person, El Torito. Along with Los Matadores and 3MB, the little guys began to steal the show, most notably at Extreme Rules where they put on the greatest pre-show match ever with Wee LC.

47. Hulk Hogan (-,-): The icon is back where he belongs and is always good for a nostalgia pop but his appearances have had diminishing returns. All he ever does is shill and it’s getting a bit tiresome, brother.

Whatcha gonna do when Hulk Hogan, Wrestlemania, Summerslam, WWE Network and Breast Cancer Awareness run wild on yooooooou???

46. Kofi Kingston (38, -8): Has cemented his reputation as “the guy who has a wacky spot in battle royals” but you can’t really build a character around that. He’s been thrown into the New Day faction so he should get on TV a little more for the time being.

45. Renee Young (63, +18): Became the first woman to be a permanent color commentator on a main roster show when she took over in the Superstars slot. Handles most of the pre and post shows and backstage duties. Her value and stock continue to rise as her role expands.

44. Fandango (28, -16): Not many characters had a worse year than the ballroom dancer. He was eliminated by El Torito at the Royal Rumble. When both of his love interests turned on him and joined forces, he suffered some of the most humiliating losses imaginable. Zack Ryder! One half of the Matadores! It got so bad, he was pulled from TV as a healthy scratch. He recently returned with a Spanish flair to the character and at the very least has been racking up some wins.

43. El Torito (76, +33): Further cemented his status as the only memorable thing about Los Matadores. He entered the Royal Rumble and eliminated Fandango. He holds pinfall victories over the various members of 3MB and he won his feud with Hornswoggle.

42. Alicia Fox (81, +39): There was a time during a particularly brutal stretch of bad Raws where Alicia Fox was the most entertaining thing on the show with her insane temper tantrums. Made a hasty face turn to have an underwritten feud with Paige.

41. Chris Jericho (23, -18): Returned for a lackluster feud with Bray Wyatt that squandered a lot of potential. Though his absences are getting longer than his runs, Y2J is always going to pop the crowd whenever he shows up.

40. Alberto Del Rio (14, -26): Fired for an alleged confrontation with a backstage employee who made racist comments. Before that, the former world champion was a directionless character who seemed to be on his way out anyway.

39. Tyson Kidd (74, +35): The most successful example of “NXT rehab,” Tyson has had match of the year candidates in both developmental and on the main roster. The once bland babyface who was horrible on the mic has transformed himself into a compelling douchebag husband character that is often a highlight of whatever show he appears on.

38. Adam Rose (-,-): On the other hand, there’s Rose, whose character never connected with audiences on the main roster level the way it did in NXT. There needs to be more to someone than just “has an entourage.” Luckily, the gimmick may have been salvaged with the emergence of The Bunny, who has stolen the spotlight and in the process revealed a darker side to the Rose persona.

37. Rob Van Dam (12, -25): RVD made a significantly smaller splash upon his second modern return to WWE. He never rose higher than midcard status and spent most of that time putting over others, most notably Cesaro.

36. Bo Dallas (75,+39): Another performer who became one of the only bright spots on 2014’s lackluster editions of Raw. Bo is hilarious on the mic but seemed to go nowhere after his initial push. Hopefully, he will find a spark when he returns from injury.

35. Jack Swagger (39, +4): It looked like he might get lost in the shuffle once the red hot Cesaro broke ties with him, but the Real American rebounded nicely over the summer with a well-timed face turn and a competitive feud with Rusev. The old school war over national pride has recently been rekindled at the close of 2014.

34. CM Punk (3, -31): Abruptly retired without public explanation or acknowledgment following the Royal Rumble in January. He may be gone, but he continues to have more impact on the WWE in his absence than most performers have by getting in the ring. His name is still chanted in arenas across the country and will forever be until the day he returns. If ever… http://uproxx.com/prowrestling/2014/12/best-in-the-mma-world-former-wwe-champion-cm-punk-has-signed-with-ufc/

“This fake fighting is destroying my body. I need a real fight.”

33. Erick Rowan (30, -3): The Wyatt Family lost a lot of steam in 2014. It was especially noticeable when Rowan and Harper failed to capture the tag team titles from the Usos. The family was split up and Rowan made a surprise face turn to join Team Cena at Survivor Series. Now being re-purposed as a secret genius who stands up to bullies… and it’s kinda working for him.

32. Goldust (24, -8): While the inspiration of his comeback has naturally lost its shine over time, the wily veteran continues to churn out quality performances as one of the best workers on the roster. He and his brother spun their wheels for most of the year until Cody morphed into Stardust. Rejuvenated by this development, as well as a heel turn, the two brothers went on to recapture the tag titles in the fall.

31. Mark Henry (15, -16): The world’s strongest man is starting to show signs of his age. Even a much-needed heel turn couldn’t restore the magic of his Hall of Pain persona. It looks like the twilight of his career will be spent putting over the talent of the future.

30. Bad News Barrett (32, +2): A fun to imitate catchphrase and another IC title reign had the Englishman on the verge of breaking out to superstardom. Unfortunately, his push was once again cut short by injury and he was forced to vacate the championship.

29. Cody Rhodes/Stardust (21, -8): A series of mishaps had the Rhodes boys teasing a break-up but instead there was a clever swerve that kept them together. Cody magically transformed himself into Stardust, a character who was even more bizarre than the Bizarre One himself. Now back on the same page, they refocused and recaptured the tag team titles.

28. Sheamus (22, -6): The Irish brawler returned at the Royal Rumble with a disappointing lack of change to his character. He won the U.S. championship in May but instead of elevating it, he was sucked into that title’s black hole of irrelevance. He’s out again as of this writing. Perhaps his next return will have more impact.

27. Lana (-,-): The outspoken manager of the Bulgarian Brute, Rusev, the Ravishing Russian is never shy when it comes to speaking her mind about the sorry state of America or the greatness of her home country. It’s classic heeling done right. Even though her words draw the appropriate amount of boos, I doubt there are many male viewers who want her off their television screens.

Crush.

26. Ryback (20, -6): A recent, well-deserved reboot to the original Ryback character while maintaining some of the personality he developed as a heel kept The Big Guy from making one of the biggest plummets on this list. With the top of the card thinned by injuries, the time was right to give Ryback a second chance and the crowds have been more than willing to accept him.

25. The Miz (34, +9): Was sinking further and further down the card until he returned from filming a movie with a Hollywood heel character that was more suited for him. He is often upstaged by his sidekick, Damien Sandow, but I wouldn’t discount the great work Miz has been doing. They are both benefiting from these breakout roles.

24. The Big Show (16, -8): The world’s largest athlete showed no signs of slowing down or even lightening his schedule in 2014. He’s not exactly a title contender but he did have high profile feuds with Rusev and Mark Henry. Yet another heel turn has put him into a new angle with the freshly minted babyface, Erick Rowan.

23. Brie Bella (36, +13): Had a major beef with Stephanie McMahon that was given a semi-main event slot at Summerslam. That transitioned into a feud with her sister, Nikki, that took up a lot of TV time in the fall. Now they’re back together for reasons that have yet to be explained.

22. Cesaro (42, +20): No performer was on a bigger roller coaster this year than the Swiss Superman. Early on, it appeared they were strapping the proverbial rocketship to his back. He got his first world title match inside the Elimination Chamber. He won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal at Wrestlemania much to the crowd’s delight. It bizarrely wasn’t a face turn, however, and he then aligned himself with Paul Heyman, who did nothing but sing the praises of Brock Lesnar instead. That mismatch didn’t last long and soon it was back to Jobber City for Cesaro. But whether he’s up or down, his strength is inhuman and he always has great matches.

21. Damien Sandow/Mizdow (25, +4): Hard to believe Sandow would move up in the rankings if you looked at his body of work over the year. No one was thrown onto the discard pile harder than the former intellectual savior of the masses. Instead of being upset about his lame ‘new gimmick every week’ gimmick, Sandow instead embraced his role and often stole the show. That hard work and perseverance paid off when he landed a gig as The Miz’s “stunt double” and turned it into a star-making performance that culminated in tag team gold.

20. Nikki Bella (48, +28): In a rather unbelievable real life twist, Nikki has transformed herself into a competent wrestler who is the new double tough hoss of the Divas division. Her horrible mic work still leaves a lot to be desired, however.

19. Luke Harper (27, +8): As part of the Wyatt Family, he and Erick Rowan put on show-stealing matches with the Usos, only to come up short in their quest for the gold. Too damn good to be relegated to a lackey role, Harper struck off on his own and almost immediately won the Intercontinental title.

18. Kane (29, +11): Whether behind the mask or not, Kane spent the year as a prominent member of Triple H’s Authority, even main eventing Extreme Rules as the challenger in the world title match.

17. Paul Heyman (4, -13): Still cuts the best promo in the business but his schtick got a little old when he kept repeating himself about Brock Lesnar beating Undertaker’s streak. He also did no favors for Cesaro, adding another failure to his managerial resume. As the advocate of the absentee world champion, Heyman is too rarely seen on TV these days.

16. Dolph Ziggler (17, +1): A crowd favorite who never seemed to have the support of management, the Show-Stealer finally broke through in the second half of 2014. He won the IC title and defended it constantly, helping restore that championship to a higher level of prominence. His crowning moment came in the main event of Survivor Series where he got to be the sole survivor, outshining even the mighty John Cena.

15. Paige (-,-): Made an impact immediately by winning the Divas championship during her main roster debut. Carried the division as its title-holder until AJ Lee returned. Their feud was more interesting than most Diva rivalries and the rookie more than held her own against one of WWE’s top stars.

14. Stephanie McMahon (37, +23): The former billion dollar princess blossomed into a queen during 2014. There were times where she was one of the best parts of Raw. She learned how to be over-the-top evil from the best but, like her dad, she is not afraid to be humiliated either.

This lady. She gets it.

13. Batista (-,-): His unexpected return went over like a fart in church once the audience realized he was taking the main event slots over Daniel Bryan and CM Punk. It also didn’t help that he looked out of shape and unprepared to be in the ring. Once The Animal found his legs and was forced to turn heel, he regained his groove and became an enjoyable part of the show. He was expected to return after “quitting” for the Guardians of the Galaxy promotional tour, but Hollywood came calling again. It remains to be seen if he will come back to finish his planned 2 year run.

12. The Usos (41, +29): The twins finally climbed the ladder and became tag team champions in 2014, reigning for most of the year. Their attempts at showing personality on the mic are really weird and they’re in danger of becoming stale if they don’t learn more moves but their flaws don’t take away from the fact that they were the cream of the tag team division this year.

11. AJ Lee (7, -4): No one in the Divas division draws more speculation about her future than the new Mrs. Punk. ‘She has backstage heat because of her husband. She’s pregnant. She’s quitting.’ All those rumors appear to be false as she has done nothing but show up on TV every week and continue to be the best female wrestler in the company.

10. Triple H (11, +1): 2014 was a banner year for The Game. He finally used his position as the heir to the throne to give the fans what they wanted, which is not shoving his friends down our throats and coming out of retirement to bury the stars of the future. Instead, he swallowed his pride and took the losses to give us our Daniel Bryans and our Shields going over at the main event level. At the same time, he continued to nail it on TV every week as the next generation of his father-in-law’s evil boss character.

9. Bray Wyatt (18, +9): The Eater of Worlds ascended to a main event slot when he feuded with John Cena at Wrestlemania and beyond. Of course, he didn’t go over so it killed a lot of his momentum. Still, the character has always been treated as competent and important. It won’t last if he doesn’t start accomplishing his stated goals, though.

8. Randy Orton (5, -3): It’s a shame that The Viper is so boring on the mic and as a character in general because when the man has his heart in his performance, he really is one of the best. Tough, too, as evidenced by the injuries he worked through at Wrestlemania and Money in the Bank. But when the most interesting thing about him is a series of viral Vine videos, the writing might be on the wall that he’ll have a tough time holding onto his spot as the new stars emerge.

7. Rusev (-,-): Receiving the biggest rookie push since The Shield, the Bulgarian Brute has been nothing short of dominant. He wins often and he wins clean, culminating in a US title victory over Sheamus. He could be at the main event level this time next year. If he ever turns on his Russia-loving girlfriend, he could become an even bigger star.

6. Daniel Bryan (2, -4): It’s hard to stomach how much Bryan lost to injury this year. His crowdsourced meteoric rise to the top was complete. He had not one, but two, cathartic and glorious victories at Wrestlemania. He was the world champion. He was the new face of the company. We can only hope we have not seen the last of him as an in-ring performer. That would be a tragedy.

5. Roman Reigns (9, +4): Broke Kane’s long-standing record of most eliminations in the Royal Rumble. He is being positioned as the next big thing even though he failed to win the title when it was up for grabs in multi-man matches. An unfortunate hernia injury halted his momentum and his ‘via satellite’ appearances have done nothing but expose how weak he is on the mic.

4. Dean Ambrose (8, +4): With Seth Rollins as the Authority’s golden boy and Roman Reign’s real life position as America’s Next Top Model Wrestler, the Lunatic Fringe might have been in danger of being overlooked. He didn’t let that happen, however. He is such a breath of fresh air with his unique performances and mannerisms that he couldn’t help but get over. He even makes ridiculous things like Nickelodeon slime and ketchup fights seem interesting.

3. Seth Rollins (10, +7): No longer content to be the Shield guy who takes the craziest bumps, Rollins turned on his brothers and ascended to a main event level as a member of The Authority. When the world champion went MIA, the former architect of the Shield suddenly found himself positioned as the man every important babyface wants to get their hands on. He currently holds the Money in the Bank contract and it will be very interesting to see if he is allowed to succeed on his eventual cash-in.

2. Brock Lesnar (13, +11): Only had 4 matches in 2014 but they were doozies. John Cena at Night of Champions was the only opponent to muster any sustained offense against the Beast Incarnate. Brock ended the Undertaker’s undefeated streak at Wrestlemania in one of the most shocking moments of the year. If there can be anything more impressive than that, it might have been his Summerslam title victory, which was in essence, the first main event squash match in history.

1. John Cena (1, +/-0): Another year gone by with no signs of John Cena being anything but the most important man in the WWE Universe. There were 8 world title matches in 2014. Cena was a part of 6 of them. He failed to put Bray Wyatt over which was disappointing but business as usual for the Cena Machine. He earned a #1 contender match by losing to Dean Ambrose. Cena’s schtick is “overcoming the odds” but the true odds are against everyone else ever knocking this guy off his perch.

Then. Now. Forever.

My Favorite WWE Matches of 2013

I have chosen my words carefully on this one.  This is a list of “my favorite” matches of the year, not necessarily the “Best.”  Everything is subjective.  All I can do is tell you what I enjoyed and why.  In 2013, the good outweighed the bad in WWE and most of that was due to the hard work put in by the next generation of superstars.  I’m sure no one would agree completely with this list, but no matter what, you have to admit the future is bright as far as in-ring talent goes.

1. The Royal Rumble (Jan. 27): The Rumble is my favorite specialty match and will almost always make my list of personal favorites.  No one match creates more speculation about potential winners and returnees.  No one match gets to showcase as much of the talent on the roster at any given time.  At an hour long, there are always going to be a number of memorable moments.  This year’s Rumble gave us the surprise returns of Chris Jericho and Goldust, a nice showing from NXT upstart Bo Dallas, another silly creative spot from Kofi Kingston and a super babyface showdown between John Cena, Ryback, Randy Orton and Sheamus.

2. John Cena vs. CM Punk (Raw, Feb. 25): This was the culmination to a rivalry that had gone on for years.  Cena declared this to be his year of redemption after 2012 saw him actually lose sometimes. Part of that redemption was defeating the one guy who almost always seemed to get past him: CM Punk.  This was an epic showdown worthy of the Wrestlemania main event, given away for free.  Both guys knew each other so well, their regular moveset would be countered at every turn.  Out of desperation, Punk broke out the forbidden-in-real-life old school piledriver and Cena had to use a hurricanrana to stun Punk into walking into an AA.  This was not my favorite match of the year, but it’s up there and it’s definitely the most I’ve ever tolerated John Cena.

3. CM Punk vs. The Undertaker (Wrestlemania, April 7):  This one loses points for a predictable outcome; once Punk went full-on evil and was dumping ashes out of urns, there was no way he was going to end the streak and not get his comeuppance.  However, that didn’t stop the match itself from stealing the show and deflating the audience for the rest of the top matches on the biggest card of the year.  The old timer who saves all his energy for one great match a year paired with a guy who got himself over on pure ability and will to succeed produced a match that could not fail.

4. Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio (Raw, April 8): The match itself is almost irrelevant; this was all about the moment.  The Rock claims he electrifies, but nothing was more electric this year than Ziggler cashing in Money in the Bank and winning the World Heavyweight Championship.  In front of the best, rowdiest crowd of the year, it didn’t even matter that DZ was the heel and Del Rio the face.  The arena exploded as smart fan darling Dolph Ziggler had finally gotten to the top of the mountain.

5. William Regal vs. Kassius Ohno (NXT, April 10):  This was the match that got my attention and made me realize I had to make the time to seek out NXT and watch it on a regular basis.  Just a classic old school grudge match where the two combatants hated each other and would use every dirty trick in the book to get one over.  Plus, the use of realistic-looking wrestling holds and tie-ups is something you just don’t see very much of in the current main roster WWE product.  And when was the last time you saw a guy selling mangled fingers because his opponent wouldn’t stop focusing his attack specifically on the hand?  Awesome stuff.  No debate; this one was my favorite match of the year.

6. The Shield vs. The Undertaker, Daniel Bryan & Kane (Raw, April 22): Okay, maybe it was just for a free trip to London, but The Undertaker sticking around for a few weeks after Wrestlemania to put over The Shield was a huge deal.  The Hounds of Justice won this match and on the following Smackdown put Taker through a table- a rub they are still benefiting from today every time their list of accomplishments is mentioned.  This was also the beginning of Daniel Bryan intensifying his performances and reminding the higher-ups how over he is.  Those four guys really stepped it up in the middle of the year and collectively became the best thing about WWE at the time.

7. Kofi Kingston vs. Antonio Cesaro (Main Event, May 1):  While Daniel Bryan and The Shield were taking off, another superstar was trying his damndest to not get buried.  Antonio Cesaro may not have won back his US title in this rematch relegated to the C show, but he made sure to remind everyone how good he is even when being booked as a loser.  Announcers were always praising him for his great strength but I was never all that impressed with his Neutralizer finisher.  Generally, the way to win me over is to do something I’ve never seen before.  This match was the first time Cesaro broke out the superplex while his opponent was standing on the apron instead of the top turnbuckle.  Incredible.

8. CM Punk vs. Darren Young (Raw, June 2): This was the year’s best use of a wrestling match as part of the storytelling process.  CM Punk was so distracted by his soap opera drama with Paul Heyman that Darren Young suddenly looked like a million bucks and threatened to pull off the upset.  Punk had to put in a lot more effort than he anticipated to beat the lowly Primetime Player.  The beginning of Heyman being totally in his head.

9. The World Heavyweight Championship Money in the Bank ladder match (July 14): As a fan of the bad guys, I had to love an all-heel match.  I don’t usually dig these spot-fests where two guys take turns doing stuff in the ring while everyone else is inexplicably dead for large chunks of time, but this one had enough creativity to distract me.  They also worked the idea of disappearing participants into the story of the match as it became Damien Sandow’s brilliant strategy to just hide for most of the time until he could steal the win from his best friend, Cody Rhodes.

10. Daniel Bryan vs. Antonio Cesaro (Raw, July 22): As much as internet rumors would have you believe that upper management does not like Cesaro or Bryan, there is no denying that this match helped change their mind, (if needed).  These two tore the house down as part of Bryan’s gauntlet match, cementing D-Bry in the main event scene and getting Cesaro more noticed and “unburied.”

11. Paige vs. Emma (NXT, July 25):  The best-kept secret in WWE is that the women of NXT are way better than most of the divas on the main roster.  This was the tournament final to crown the first ever NXT Women’s champion.  These two are so over and so good, it might be time to just stop adding the caveat that this was good for a Divas match.  It was a good match period.

12. Christian vs. Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam (Smackdown, Aug. 4): This was a fun triple threat for the #1 contendership heading into Summerslam.  Similar to Punk-Cena, the story was that the participants knew each other too well to rely solely on their base offense.  Christian had an answer for everything Orton, his long time rival, tried.  Orton had some amazing counters on RVD including a sick-looking Rolling Thunder into a powerslam.  Finally, Christian won with an old school backslide, which doesn’t happen very often these days.

13. Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk (Summerslam, Aug. 18): One of the marquee matches of the year and it lived up to the hype.  Lesnar got to look like the beast he’s always billed as and Punk played the scrappy underdog role perfectly.  The ending further fueled the fire in Punk’s war with Paul Heyman as Punk’s anger and a timely distraction caused his downfall.

14. Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena (Summerslam, Aug. 18): Bryan debuts the running knee finisher and Cena puts him over clean- a triumphant capper to D-Bry’s rise to main event status.  Then a Triple H heel turn and a Randy Orton cash-in quickly soured what should have been the moment of the year.  We all felt cheated… which is exactly how we were supposed to feel.  Triple H, who has always been smart fan enemy #1, finally embraced his destiny and gave us storyline reasons to hate him.

15. Antonio Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn, 2 out of 3 falls (NXT, Aug. 22):  Sure, Cesaro’s feats of strength on bigger men are impressive, but just as good is when he has a little guy he can just throw around everywhere.  It’s a classic struggle between quickness and strength as Zayn has to do everything he can to strike quickly and avoid Cesaro’s power game.  Another example of why everyone should be watching NXT.

16. Jack Swagger vs. Sami Zayn (NXT, Sept. 5): Cesaro’s tag team partner also came down to Orlando to get himself a piece of Zayn.  The resulting match had less hype than the Cesaro battle, but for my money, this was an even better match.  Swagger was not just trying to use his power game, he was getting visibly frustrated when he couldn’t put the smaller guy away.  This is the only time I’ve ever seen Jack pull his straps down, as he finally realizes just how much more work it’s going to take to put away Sami than he thought.

You can’t spell AMAZING without SAMI ZAYN! …kind of.

17. Santino Marrella & Emma vs. Fandango & Summer Rae (NXT, Oct. 2): Since the dawn of time, WWE has insisted on having comedy characters and comedy matches as part of their ongoing attempt to appeal to everyone on some level.  It often flops miserably for the smart crowd.  So imagine my surprise when I found myself enjoying the hell out of one such match.  Emma is already wildly entertaining as a wrestling weirdo, and Santino was able to match her quirk for quirk.  First, they couldn’t properly coordinate their entrances.  Then they just couldn’t get it down that the referee was counting their enthusiastic high fives as official tags.  They repeated this so many times that the crowd had to yell NOOO! until they finally understood.   I’m hard-pressed to think of a match I’ve ever laughed at more.

18. Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs. Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns of The Shield (Battleground, Oct. 6):  Battleground may have been a shitty, throwaway pay-per-view with a WCW ending, but its one shining bright spot was the most emotionally impactful match of the year.  What a difference it can make when you care about the performers and the scripted stakes of the match.  It’s an added bonus that these are four of the best talents on the roster.  Cody Rhodes is finally getting his due, Goldust looks as good as he’s ever been and I don’t need to repeat how great The Shield is.  Plus, the American Dream Dusty Rhodes even got involved, taking the belt to Dean Ambrose.  The tears of joy at the top of the ramp seemed real (and probably were) as the babyface roster and the normally unseen road agents like Arn Andersen and Fit Finlay came out to celebrate the triumph of the Rhodes Boys.

19. The traditional Survivor Series elimination match (Survivor Series, Nov. 24):   The weakest of the Big Four long ago abandoned its premise but the elimination style matches are something I still find intriguing.  The faces built a big lead over Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns until the spear was unleashed.  Roman Reigns took over the match in one of the biggest single match pushes of the year, transforming from the potential afterthought of the team to the beast enforcer he was always talked up as.

20. The Wyatt Family vs. Daniel Bryan, 3 on 1 handicap match (TLC, Dec. 15):  While The Shield stole shows for most of the year, the Wyatts gradually worked their way up from NXT to become major players on the main roster.  Erick Rowan and Luke Harper do most of the in-ring work for the Wyatt clan, but at TLC, Bray finally tagged in and proved why he is the head of the snake.  His character work was brilliant throughout and he even turned his corner upside down hang into a visually bizarre crab walk that has to be seen to be believed.  The crowd chanted “that was creepy” and they weren’t wrong.

The WWE Year-End Power Rankings

Another year is almost in the history books for WWE so how did every superstar fare in 2013?  Whose stock is up?  Whose is down?  Did we finally find the stars of tomorrow?  How do some of these people even earn their paychecks?  All of this and more will be addressed in the 1st Annual Irish Whip WWE Year-End Power Rankings!

100. Ezekiel Jackson: I have been restored to full time WWE fandom for 18 months and I have never seen this man.  Yet, there he is, always included on wwe.com’s official roster.

99. Evan Bourne: Seemingly always an injury or a Wellness Policy violation away from getting fired, Bourne presumably spent the entire year on the shelf.

98. The Godfather: Got a big nostalgia pop at the Royal Rumble but was a joke entrant and was eliminated immediately.

97. Eve Torres: Entered the calendar year as the Divas champion but lost it a week in and quit the biz.  Good luck in your future endeavors!

Any excuse to run a picture of Eve

96. JTG: Another guy who is inexplicably still on the roster, yet never seen.  I think he might have been a lumberjack a couple of times.

95. Dusty Rhodes: Had a fun classic Dusty promo during the Rhodes war with the McMahons and even got to take the belt to Dean Ambrose in one of the best moments of the year.

94. Hornswoggle: Mostly just a cheerleader for the Great Khali these days, the little guy does still take a bump sometimes.  I heard he’s starring in a Leprechaun reboot produced by WWE, which is awesome.

93. Matt Stryker:  Thought he was a better commentator than interviewer but they never let him do it.  Was sorry to see him go at the time, but he really didn’t add much and Renee Young was a definite upgrade.

92. Ted DiBiase Jr.: Didn’t make it onto TV much in 2013, and then quit the biz to spend more time with his family.  He’s rich anyway, I’m sure.  He comes from money.

91. Curt Hawkins: Had a few losses here and there on Main Event and NXT but spent most of the year as one of many underutilized talents.

90. Yoshi Tatsu: Another waste of space on the roster.  I’d call him a jobber, but you have to wrestle in order to lose.

89. Camacho: It’s really kind of unbelievable how many guys get paid by WWE to travel and hang out in the locker room.

88. David Otunga: Had a role in WWE Films’ modest hit, The Call.  Not seen on TV much, which is a shame because he has a great physique and the douchey lawyer is a great character.

87. Rosa Mendes: Spent most of the year at home having been sent there to take care of personal problems.  Has recently been seen more as part of the ‘Divas not on Total Divas’ “faction.”  Looks terrible as a blonde.

86. Teddy Long: Was the interim GM of Smackdown while Booker T was recovering from surgery- a surgery that thankfully stifled the weird and space-wasting verbal feud that had been developing between the two.

85. Josh Mathews: Demoted from Smackdown play-by-play to the little-seen Main Event.  With Stryker gone and Renee Young a real life broadcast journalist, he’s become the go-to interviewer for heels to beat up.

84. Jojo: Brought in to be one of the newbie characters on the Total Divas reality show, but from the recaps I read, she’s barely on it.  Saw her first action at Survivor Series and was not noticably bad.

83. Aksana: A female jobber who gets on TV more than she should since there aren’t a lot of Divas.  Scout your three opponents and learn to counter their moves, Aksana!

82. Layla: Didn’t wrestle much in 2013, instead was a manager of sorts for the other more high profile stars.  Turned on Kaityln to join AJ but that angle was dropped almost immediately.

81. Alicia Fox: She shows more talent and personality when she cameos on NXT than she does on the main roster shows.

80. William Regal: Loses squash matches whenever he does get on TV, but he is pure gold as the color man on NXT.  Seriously, watch NXT.  It’s WWE’s best show.

79. Hunico: Yet another guy who is paid to do nothing, but at the time of this writing it sounds like he is inheriting the Sin Cara character, so I have to count his victory on the Dec. 2 Raw to his credit.

78. Alex Riley: Has become the back-up color anaylst on NXT, Main Event and Smackdown.  He’s especially bad on NXT where I find myself chanting WE WANT REGAL at the TV.

This picture reminds him of when he used to team with The Miz!

77. Eva Marie: The Total Divas newbie who is being pushed as the catty go-getter.  The distorted reality between the Divas show and what happens on Raw makes it really confusing to know if we’re supposed to like her or not.  Either way, just know that she is a horrible performer, so that pretty much decides it.

76. El Torito: The best part of the Los Matadores team is a crazy bouncing midget in a bull costume.  Makes me wish Vince was back on commentary so we could hear his douchey laugh about how great this little guy is.

75. Bo Dallas: A great showing in the Royal Rumble and a clean victory over Wade Barrett made it look like Dallas was being called up as a bland babyface.  Instead, he went back to NXT, became its champion and is currently killing it as a delusional heel who thinks he’s a face.

74. Tyson Kidd: Spent most of the year rehabbing a career-threatening injury.  Returned with a Total Divas-inspired nod to his real life marriage to Natalya that translated into a push that lasted less than a week.

73. Tamina Snuka: WWE obviously likes her to keep trying her in various roles, but she is awful in the ring.  Her new role as AJ Lee’s enforcer has been her best use so far.

72. Jerry “The King” Lawler: Glad you didn’t die on live TV last year, now please retire because you do nothing but detract from the on-screen product.

71. Xavier Woods: Too early to tell if he will make an impact on the main roster but the fact that they inserted him right into a feud with Brodus Clay is a good sign that they want to do something with both guys.  Though I can name at least 10 other men or women I would have called up from NXT before him.

70. Sin Cara: Broken necks, torn quads, dangling limbs.  These are the things the great ones power through to finish matches.  Sin Cara had a match stopped because he dislocated his finger.  Hit the road, Jack.

69. Booker T: Lost his job as GM of Smackdown due to injury but made the WWE Hall of Fame so it was a good year overall.  I’d like to see him back at the announce table.

68. Brad Maddox: Went from “unemployed” and crashing shows to Assistant GM of Raw to Actual GM of Raw.  That’s a pretty good year.  He was also my second favorite NXT color man, though he hasn’t shown up in a while.

67. Justin Gabriel: I jokingly call this guy The Face of Main Event.  Once WWE lost its interest in the show, Gabriel became a mainstay.

66. Zack Ryder: Nothing sadder than that time he wore trunks with a “Push Me” button on them.  A cautionary tale for other performers to not think outside the box or try to get over without the help of the machine.

65. Summer Rae: The first of NXT’s treasure trove of viable female wrestlers to get the call-up.  Somewhat wasted as Fandango’s dance partner, thankfully she’s starting to have matches and be a character.

64. Vickie Guerrero: Sad to see Eddie’s widow forced to take part in such humilation as her firing on Raw, ie, the worst segment of the year.  She has bounced back as the GM of Smackdown and is always good for some heel heat.

63. Renee Young: As a real sportscaster she lends credibility to the product as an interviewer and an NXT analyst.  She is particularly good at reacting to the things that are going on around her, which believe it or not, immensely improves the product.

Seceretly the best announcing pair in WWE.

62. Vince McMahon: As an on-screen character he has been leaving a lot to be desired as of late and has all but disappeared since Hunter & Stephanie became “The Authority.”  Stephanie has even been getting billed as the owner of WWE.  Ouch.

61. Jinder Mahal: For my money, the least charismatic of the three members of 3MB.  I don’t want to be insensitive to what is probably a cultural thing, but if you’re hired to portray a wrestling rock star, you should take off your turban.

60. Ricardo Rodriguez: He was the best part of the Alberto Del Rio rich asshole gimmick, but all good things must come to an end and Ricardo pretty much ended it himself with a Wellness Policy violation.  He came back to be Rob Van Dam’s personal ring announcer which was really awkward and made little sense.

59. Cameron: Presumably the less talented Funkadactyl.  I think.  I don’t watch Total Divas and I haven’t bothered to distinguish the ladies I mostly know as Brodus Clay’s dancing valets.

58. Naomi: This is the more athletic one who uses a butt bop as her finisher, right?

57. Michael Cole: For better or worse, he is the voice of WWE.  Teach me how to download an app, Michael!  Read Bray Wyatt quotes and misunderstand them!  Bash bad segments as they’re happening instead of doing your job and trying to save them.  It’s all television gold!

56. JBL: Once a breath of fresh air in the announce booth, JBL has devolved into a guy who is not really paying attention but still likes to yell a lot just to contradict his partners.  Sadly, he’s the best one on Raw.

55. The Great Khali: The world’s largest jobber.  It’s cringe-worthy whenever it’s declared that he is a former world champion.  He still wins sometimes, which I guess is impressive considering he can’t bend his legs.

54. Drew McIntyre: An underrated talent, especially at selling.  Becoming a part of 3MB has made him infinitely more interesting than his former bland ‘Chosen One’ persona.

53. Heath Slater: The leader of 3MB and the premeire jobber to the stars.  Hey, it’s a living!

52. Santino Marella: Even I can admit I laugh at his in-ring antics sometimes.  He’s a solid performer who sadly might be trapped in the kid-friendly wacky Italian guy gimmick forever.

51. R-Truth: Came back from an early year injury magically cured of his infatuation with an imaginary little boy.  RIP, Little Jimmy.  Truth is always good for getting the crowd pumped up and losing midcard title matches.

50. Los Matadores- Fernando y Diego: I’m not going to distinguish them from one another since all the announcers even say on the matter is they “believe Fernando is taller.”  The repackaged Primo and Epico are undefeated in tag team action as of this writing.  Their sidekick, El Torito, often upstages them, however.

49. Rey Mysterio: Missed most of the year due to injury.  When he’s active, he’s way over but how much longer will it last?

48. Nikki Bella: One of the focal points of Total Divas but I don’t think they show her in a good light.  Out for a while with an injury and generally known as the “one that got the implants.”

47. Brodus Clay: Even forming a monster tag team with Tensai called Tons of Funk couldn’t save the Funkasaurus from a year of irrelevance.  Two gigantic guys joining forces should not result in them both still being jobbers.  It doesn’t make a lot of sense.  Hopefully for him, his teased heel turn will result in more screen time and victories.

46. Titus O’Neill: Got a bit of a push by proxy when his tag team partner, Darren Young, became the first openly gay wrestler, but even that was not sustained for very long.  The Primetime Players still lose a lot and if Titus’ new gimmick is that he might throw up all the time, well, that’s not exactly a rocketship to main event status.

45. Natalya: Spent the first half of the year as arm candy for The Great Khali but that was dropped when Total Divas revealed she was married to Tyson Kidd.  She’s currently being pushed as the next top contender for the Divas title but she’s not as over as WWE seems to think and she botches a lot both in the ring and on the mic.

44. Tensai: This guy can really go when given the chance, which, sadly isn’t often.  I was happy when he was repackaged with Brodus as Sweet T rather than being dismissed, but that team went nowhere and has been teasing a break-up.

43. Darren Young: It was a year of unexplained face turns and none were bigger or more unexplained than Darren Young suddenly coming out to huge pops.  We all knew why and it was great to see the normally awful wrestling crowds embrace courage and progress.  Personal life aside, he also had a great match with CM Punk on Raw and might break out as a singles star eventually.

42. Antonio Cesaro: This man is so good at his job that the internet weeps every time he loses.  He had a long reign as the US champion before “We the People” infringed on his anti-American gimmick.  Luckily, he recovered when they simply merged him into Zeb Colter’s camp.  He’s ridiculously strong, he’s having a really good time out there despite the fact that he’s supposed to be a heel and the Big Swing gets big pops.  He might just will his way to superstardom a la Daniel Bryan.

Swing him into the crowd, Antonio!

41. Jimmy & Jey Uso: I can’t tell them apart even when the announcers try to explain how.  They floated through the first half of the year but have really stepped up their game lately, participating in some really strong matches with The Shield and the Rhodes brothers.

40. Christian: Came back from a long injury hiatus as a crafty veteran stealing wins with backslides and small packages.  Then he got a concussion and was never seen again other than covering it up with an off-screen Shield beat-down.  He might be done for good this time.

39. Jack Swagger: Talk about not being able to handle the spotlight.  Immediately after being repackaged from jobber to World title contender, he was pulled over after a Smackdown taping for reckless driving and possession of marijuana.  WWE was really behind the We the People angle and was trying to get mainstream attention during Wrestlemania season.  Swagger gave them the wrong kind of attention.  He’s recovered somewhat to have a good run as a tag team with Cesaro but he could have been a champion.

One last time? Okay! WEED THE PEOPLE!

38. Kofi Kingston: Spent the year wildly alternating between relevance and jobbing.  He seems popular enough but he can never quite reach that next level the way others have.  His big accomplishment in 2013 was being the transitional US champion between Cesaro and Dean Ambrose.

37. Stephanie McMahon: Didn’t show up much until the horrible power trip feud between Vince and Triple H over the summer.  With the emergence of “The Authority” in the fall, she has become a solid performer as the smarmy boss lady who spouts false cheer but ultimately doesn’t really care about you other than what you can do for her.

36. Brie Bella: Has become noticably better in the ring than her twin sister.  (The difference between dating Daniel Bryan and dating John Cena perhaps!)  Also presented on Total Divas as the more level-headed of the two.  I even think the smaller chest makes her more adorable standing next to those two gigantic implants.  All around, she’s just the better Bella.

35. The Undertaker: Got in shape just in time to save his Wrestlemania streak and have a great match with CM Punk.  Even stuck around for a couple of weeks to put over The Shield.  The Dead Man showing up always makes things more special.

34. The Miz: When R-Truth is unavailable to job to midcard heel champions, call The Miz.  When you need a color man for your third tier shows, call The Miz.  When you need a talkshow segment to kill the crowd, call The Miz!

33. Kaitlyn: Had a solid reign as the Divas champion and one of the more well-booked feuds of the year with AJ Lee.  Has since largely disappeared and been lumped into the non-Total Divas camp by default.  Right after she got her own T-shirt, too.  Shame.

32. Wade “Bad News” Barrett: Spent the first half of the year as the Intercontinental champion, damaging the title almost irreparably since he was booked as a hopeless jobber.  Then he got stuck in England over a work visa snafu.  He has recently been “repackaged” as Bad News Barrett, despite looking and sounding exactly the same.

31. Zeb Colter: Uncle Zeb reemerged on the scene as a mouthpiece for Jack Swagger and later Antonio Cesaro.  His hate speeches have been dialed down to a comedy act lately, but he’s great on the mic no matter what the tone of the segment is.  Del Rio-Swagger turned out to be a go-nowhere feud for a lot of reasons, but Zeb almost single-handedly saved it.

30. Erick Rowan: Noticably the least talented member of the Wyatt Family.  This is well covered for by having him team often with the vastly superior Luke Harper and by having him wear a creepy sheep mask which makes him almost as equally interesting as the interesting people he’s surrounded by.

29. Kane: Had one of the longer tag team title reigns as a dysfunctional team with Daniel Bryan.  Was the first victim of the Wyatt Family’s patented kidnappings but he inexplicably returned from that to be a non-wrestling corporate suit for Triple H.  They might get to a larger angle if the Wyatts are secretly working for The Authority but as of this writing, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

28. Fandango: Debuted with a Wrestlemania win over Chris Jericho and then got accidentally over when the snarky post-WM crowd embraced his catchy theme music and “doing the Fandango” briefly went viral.  An untimely concussion kept him from probably winning the IC title, and from there, things kind of fizzled.  He still wins more than he loses but he has been mostly reduced to irrelevance.

27. Luke Harper: Easily the best wrestler in the Wyatt Family, Harper is a big man who can move, which is always a good thing.  He speaks intelligently sometimes which makes him even creepier as a willing participant in Bray Wyatt’s mind control.  I like when he starts shouting YEAH YEAH YEAH in the ring like he’s having a violence orgasm.

Monsters are real

26. Curtis Axel: Michael McGillicutty is dead!  Long live Curtis Axel!  Mr. Perfect’s son was repackaged as a Paul Heyman guy and had a long, harmless reign as IC champion.  Sadly, he did not inherit his father’s charisma and if he’s been embraced by the smart fans, it’s mostly out of hipster irony.  He’s currently broken off from Heyman and is floundering on television.  But that’s a step up from floundering off television, which is where he was this time last year.

25. Damien Sandow: Won the World Title Money in the Bank Ladder Match and turned that into a high profile feud with his former partner, Cody Rhodes.  By weird WWE logic, that meant he should start losing more than ever.  He has even dropped the Intellectual Savior gimmick and is now just a generic angry midcard heel.  In the ultimate indignity, he became the first spontaneous MITB cash-in to lose.

24. Goldust: A strong nostalgia pop at the Rumble and an emotional match with Randy Orton to try and get his brother’s job back could have been enough for the veteran of the Attitude Era.  Instead, Goldy turned those stints into a permanent roster spot and a tag team title run with Cody.  The announcers often say he looks better than he ever has and they’re not wrong.

23. Chris Jericho: He is a man with many interests but to his credit, when he does make a run in WWE, he commits full time.  He’s always going to put out a good match and unlike most guys his age, he is willing to put the next generation over.

22. Sheamus: A somewhat down year for the Irishman as he started to languish in the upper midcard.  He was a bit overexposed and at risk of getting stale by having a match on pretty much every show.  He’s been injured since July and I still don’t really miss him.  Hopefully he will return with a fresh take on the character.  WWE needs more top level heels, for example.

21. Cody Rhodes: After spending half the year with Sandow as the default tag title contenders to Team Hell No, Rhodes really broke out over the summer.  He had two well-booked feuds with the aforementioned Sandow and then with “The Authority.”  He and his brother can now be seen stealing the show every time they go out.

Brothers gotta hug

20. Ryback: It only took a year to ruin the next big thing.  Ryback was incredibly over as a monster face but he was never going to win the title from Punk.  His heel turn was interesting, but he was never going to win the title from Cena.  One pay-per-view loss after another, and some go-nowhere programs as a backstage bully and a foot soldier in Paul Heyman’s army have left Ryback absolutely buried.  If he’s going to have the rumored match with Goldberg, Creative has a lot of work to do to build this guy back up.  Hopefully, it’s not too late.

19. Big E. Langston: Just too charismatic to remain a silent thug heel, Langston might succeed where the ball was dropped with Ryback.  His turn was well done and with the 2 major championships finally being absorbed into one, his IC title win might become even more significant as he will be one of only three champions instead of four.

18. Bray Wyatt: The freshest character to come along in a while, the Wyatt clan could not be called up from NXT fast enough for my liking.  He can pull off a creepy promo like nobody else and their vignettes were some of the best stuff the production team has ever put out.  Their interacting so quickly with the likes of CM Punk and Daniel Bryan is an indicator that WWE knows it has gold here.

17. Dolph Ziggler: It looked like this might finally be the year for the Show-Stealer.  His MITB cash-in and World Title win was one of the more electric moments of the year.  An unfortunate concussion had him reigning while on the shelf, only to drop the strap in his first match back.  And just like that, it was over.  He’s a face instead of a heel now but not much else has changed as he went immediately back to languishing in midcard hell.

16. The Big Show: Another year of wild fluctuations in allegiances and character for the World’s Largest Athlete.  Big Show started the year as a rich guy who didn’t care about anyone but himself.  By the fall, he was a crybaby who couldn’t save his friends from The Authority because he was broke and needed his job.  Regardless, Show is effective at whatever he’s doing, even if there’s not a lot of continuity behind it.

15. Mark Henry: The World’s Strongest Man returned for the Elimination Chamber in February and was way over just by playing a simple monster heel who does whatever he wants.  He parlayed that into a brief main event feud with John Cena where he teased retirement in the fake-out of the year that I was legit fooled by.  Recently back from an injury, he is a babyface now, which kind of negates the “THAT’S WHAT I DO!” persona that got him over in the first place.

14. Alberto Del Rio: Spent most of the calendar year as the World Heavyweight Champion both as a face and a heel, but he never really felt important.  Once John Cena came along, he was quickly steamrolled out of the title picture.  He’s a good worker and a good performer, but there’s something intangible that’s missing.  He just doesn’t have the IT factor.

13. Brock Lesnar: Like a Paul Heyman-summoned dark angel, he appears, he kicks ass, he leaves.  A Lesnar match is always a big deal but they’re so few and far between that they lose a bit of their luster in the long term.  WWE should pay him whatever he wants to make more of an impact on the day to day proceedings.

12. Rob Van Dam: I’m not sure WWE knew what they were getting when they resigned Mr. Monday Night to a part time deal.  What they got was lightning in a bottle.  RVD looked great, he was insanely over and then he left, written out of the show as being “burned out.”  Lame.  We know he will be back and I would be shocked if his music doesn’t cue up during the Royal Rumble.

11. Triple H: Changing from the too cool for school babyface a-hole to the authority figure who abuses his power was the right call for The Game.  Embrace the hate!  Perhaps getting booed out of Wrestlemania finally taught him that smart fans really, really dislike him.  Thus, giving us storyline reasons to want to see him get punched is more profitable than inserting himself into boring main event matches.

10. Seth Rollins: Believe in the Shield!  These three guys together are money.  They are all fantastic performers and all play their roles well.  Rollins has been the least accomplished so far, but he has stolen Ziggler’s spot as the best seller in the business.  Not a joke- he might die in the ring if he doesn’t tone it down.  I also enjoy his constant yelling during matches.  He sounds like a chain-smoking grandma at bingo.

9.  Roman Reigns: The powerhouse of The Shield and the easy winner of the Most Improved Award.  He actually has made the spear look like a viable finisher again after being badly damaged by Edge’s lingerie football tackles.  You can tell by his beastly Survivor Series push that this is the guy they really love the most.

8. Dean Ambrose: What a clown!  This guy redefines even the most basic of spots with his facial expressions and mannerisms.  I particularly enjoy how he Irish whips somebody than runs after them and hits them on the ropes because WHY WOULD YOU WAIT FOR THEM TO BOUNCE AND COME RUNNING BACK?  He’s the clear leader of The Shield and has been a long-reigning US champion.

Sierra! Hotel! India! Echo! Lima! Delta!

7. AJ Lee: For the first time in my wrestling life, a Diva is one of my favorite performers.  She may be small but she is technically sound and crafty so it works for a heel.  She lives and breathes for wrestling and it shows in her performances.  She is skipping laps around the other ladies.

6. The Rock: I wrote extensively about why I disliked The Rock’s presumed final run with the company.  (It’s the runaway winner of ‘post that gets the most clicks’.)  Still, in theory he was a high profile figure who helped make the Wrestlemania season a bit more special.  Even if it wasn’t as special as when he did it the previous year.

5. Randy Orton: Currently getting a run as “the face of WWE” even though his title reign has taken a back seat to Authority shenanigans.  It can’t be ignored that he was floundering and seemed very disinterested in his job until being booked to win Money in the Bank.  It also can’t be ignored that once he regained interest, he stepped up his game and put forth some of the best matches on the show.

4. Paul Heyman: Hands down the best talker in the business today.  When he is on Raw, it is a better show.  Be it bit players like Axel or big time guys like CM Punk and Lesnar, there is no one who doesn’t benefit from having Heyman as their advocate.

3. CM Punk: Spent the first half of the year as a cranky, injury-riddled mess who still powered through and had a solid run as a classic evil bastard heel.  A vacation did him well and when he returned he was a happy babyface who looked like he was having fun again, particularly during his lengthy feud with Paul Heyman.  Like Cena, Punk has reached the lofty status of transcending wins, losses and allegiances.  He will always be over, as indicated by his getting a new T-shirt for sale every couple of months.

2. Daniel Bryan: Yes! Yes! Yes!  If you don’t get excited and fall in love with wrestling while watching a Daniel Bryan match, then it’s just never going to happen for you.  Bryan carried the company on his back during the post-Wrestlemania hangover and forced everyone around him to step up their game.  Bryan is the rare talent who is beloved by all, young and old, smart or mark.  Though his first main event program was booked rather poorly, he is still arguably the most popular guy on the roster.  If he doesn’t stay on the top shelf and get a real title run eventually, it will be through no fault of his own.

1. John Cena: This was supposed to be the year of his storyline redemption and, by God, did they ever double down on Cena as a Superman among mortals.  He won the Royal Rumble, he beat The Rock, and he held both major titles. Cena never loses.  Off-hand, I can only think of three times he did not come out victorious in 2013.  A quickly shrugged-off 6 man loss to The Shield, the first fall of his three part battle with Ryback and Summerslam when he put Bryan over clean.  The major titles are finally going to be consolidated at TLC and it’s hard to imagine Cena not emerging as the unified, undisputed champion of everything.  Even if he somehow doesn’t, it would be naive to think he won’t eventually RISE ABOVE.

Then. Now. Forever.

WWE: Putting the Bad in Bad Guys.

Here’s a list of WWE wrestlers:  The Miz, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler, The Big Show, CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, The Primetime Players, Mark Henry, Big E Langston, Tensai, Alberto Del Rio, Ricardo Rodriguez, The Bella Twins, Primo & Epico (repackaged as Fernando y Diego).

Here’s a second list: Alberto Del Rio, Randy Orton, Ryback, Kane, Triple H.

The first is a list of face turns in the last calendar year.  The second is heel turns.  What is going on?  Has the whole WWE locker room gone to anger management with Dr. Shelby?  That’s a 17-5 swing, without even including the heroic returns to active duty of Chris Jericho, Christian, Rob Van Dam, The Rock and Goldust at one point or another.

Of course, the switch is just one storytelling device used in pro wrestling.  There’s still plenty of evil on the roster.  Most debuting new superstars begin their careers as forces of darkness.  The Shield, The Wyatt Family, Fandango and Big E Langston have all debuted to boos. (mostly).  Damien Sandow and Antonio Cesaro have maintained a presence on television after their rookie years.  Michael McGillicutty, Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal were all repackaged into wrestlers you might catch in the ring on any given broadcast instead of holding up the walls in the background of locker room segments.

It’s well-documented that WWE has trouble creating new stars.  I believe the situation is worse than that.  They have no credible villains to battle their established stars.  Whatever happened to the monster heel who could instantly debut as a force to be reckoned with?  The Undertaker, Earthquake and Yokozuna were almost instantly thrust into the main event scene as viable threats to Hulkamania or, uh, BretHart-a-mania.  But every modern day heel follows the same cycle.  Strong push to start, followed a month or two later by one televised loss after another until they can no longer be taken seriously.  Tensai in his original form gained pinfall victories over John Cena and CM Punk.  A few weeks later he was losing in less than a minute to Tyson Kidd.  Even as Money in the Bank winners, Dolph Ziggler and Damien Sandow couldn’t buy a win against anyone who was considered above them.  The same could be said for heel champions such as former IC champion Wade Barrett and former US champ Antonio Cesaro.  Fandango debuted with a Wrestlemania victory over Chris Jericho.  Now he’s losing clean to Santino.  Even the Wyatt family has not been immune to this.  “OH MY GOD, these psycho hillbillies are monsters who might kill you for real!!!!!!…oh, never mind, they just lost to the Usos.”  Imagine in 1989 if Earthquake, instead of threatening to end Hulkamania, had been getting constantly schoolboyed by Koko B. Ware.  That’s the biggest difference between then and now.  The last time WWE was appropriate for all audiences, we still had bad guys who could win.  It makes the payoff that much better when the hero finally overcomes the villain.  Today’s stories are so messed up that even when there is one told properly, it has the wrong outcome.  Daniel Bryan spent the fall trying to be the the conquering hero who would take down the evil powers-that-be.  Except when he failed over and over again.  (Triple H, who refreshed his character by playing the talent-burying asshole we all think of him as, turned out to be exactly who we thought he was!)

While I was typing this, John Cena went back in time and hit the AA on John Tenta.

Of course, the best example is the way Ryback has been completely ruined.  He was a babyface force of nature who no-sold his way into the main event scene.  As a heel, earlier this year, he forfeited a match because The Miz kicked him in the leg.  He is an aimless, wimpy joke and I’m not sure it’s redeemable.  Well, it is, but to do that, he’d have to start beating the Cenas and the Punks, which of course will never happen.

It’s getting hard to watch, is what I’m saying.

Back to that 17-5 face-to heel swing ratio.  You would assume the writers would eventually realize this.  So who can rise up to the main event level and even the playing field?  Is it possible?  I’d love to see Sheamus return from injury as a villain.  It wouldn’t be that hard to say that John Cena never called to see how he was doing or that he was never mentioned on a single broadcast since going on the shelf.  He could come back totally pissed off.  Mark Henry’s face turn was not particularly well-done.  (The Shield beat him up).  That could easily be retconned out of existence when he is healed up.  Or how about just letting Barrett or Sandow or Cesaro just win a freaking high profile match for once?

 

Power Rankings

10. The Rhodes Brothers:  Ask Zack Ryder how being John Cena’s bestest buddy works out for people.

9. Randy Orton: The WWE Champion is getting lost in the shuffle of this increasingly horrible corporate angle.  I am shocked Big Show is getting a title shot instead of a match with Triple H.  They’re giving this angle the wrong payoff, in my opinion.

8. Total Divas: The women are being shoved down our throats again in promotion of the E reality show returning.  So if you enjoy barely-trained airheads getting roll-up victories over established talent, you are in heaven right now.

7. Tyson Kidd: Speaking of reality, Kidd returned from injury, scored a vicotry over Fandango and got acknowledgment on Raw that Natalya is his real-life bride.  Sorry, Great Khali.  Everyone just please politely forget that you were still kayfabe dating Nattie as recently as the Hell in a Cell ppv.

6. CM Punk:  I’d just like to specify that any Punk merch I own is in support of the evil bastard who hates everyone and not this pandering babyface crap.

5. Renee Young:  She is the most professional broadcast journalist to be hired by WWE in as long as I can remember.  More calling matches on NXT, please.  Less having to deal with a midget dressed as a bull humping her leg because he’s …horny.  Ugh.

4. Kane: Got kayfabe promoted to “Director of Operations.”  It was worth it if only for the many, many puns the internet came up with upon seeing his new look.

3. Curtis Axel:  Raw advertised an IC title match for Wednesday’s episode of Main Event that never happened and was never mentioned again.  Clearly, Axel has some powerful friends.

2. John Cena:  It is inaccurate to say Cena can’t wrestle.  The new full nelson neckbreaker is pretty cool.  He just can’t cut a promo aimed at anyone over the age of 10.  That’s what makes him truly terrible.

1.  Wade Barrett: The Great Barrett Barrage remained undefeated since not being booked to appear on television.  WWE is in Europe for the next batch of TV tapings so expect a triumphant return very soon.  Minions of the Dark Side!  Unite under the leadership of Wade Barrett!

WWE Money in the Bank Preview

The Money in the Bank ladder match is such a fun show-stealer that a few years ago, WWE moved it off Wrestlemania and built a whole-pay-per-view around it.  I don’t care for the way the briefcase has become sort of the second-coming of “defending the hardcore championship 24 hours a day.”  I honestly believe it was envisioned originally as a way to generate an easy PPV main event when ideas were running low.  That scenario was very successful early on when Rob Van Dam challenged John Cena at the ECW tribute PPV, but other than Cena last year giving a week’s notice, every other cash-in has been a “strike any time the champion is vulnerable” situation that is starting to feel a bit played out.  My personal opinion of it aside, the match to earn the briefcases are indeed worthy of their own show and Sunday’s PPV is intriguing enough that I just made my first non-Royal Rumble order since I can’t even remember when.  I am always sucked in by matches where the outcome is not obvious and I can honestly say, I have no idea what is going to happen Sunday night.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Championship: Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns of The Shield defend against The Uso Twins.

My 4 year-old niece now calls wrestling “butt to the face wrestling” because one time she walked in and saw the Usos running into their opponents ass-first.  So now I kind of like them because it was hilarious having to explain what she was telling her father about later.

Titles often change hands on the pre-show to get people into the buying spirit by witnessing how anything can happen.  Last year, Antonio Cesaro captured the US title on the Summerslam pre-show and this year, The Miz knocked off Wade Barrett before Wrestlemania.  I don’t think that happens here.  The Usos have been getting a push as an up-and-coming tag team, but The Shield have been getting a push as unstoppable beasts.  This match seems more like ‘we don’t have any time to waste on the main stage to bother with an Usos match’.  Not sure these guys have been on pay TV since the ’12 Rumble.

Intercontinental Championship: Curtis Axel (with Paul Heyman) defends against The Miz.

Under the guidance of Paul Heyman, the former Michael McGillicutty has emerged as a player on the main roster, winning the IC title at last month’s Payback show.  The Miz, despite often claiming he wants to get back to main event status, is still the de facto challenger for any mid-card belt held by a heel.  Since he wasn’t the one pinned in the triple threat and Wade Barrett has been tossed onto the de-push garbage pile, Miz now gets a chance to become a three time IC champ.  I don’t think that happens here.  Basically, Axel’s status has a green arrow pointing up next to his name and Miz has a No Change or even a downward red arrow next to his.  Axel has been stealing victories like a weasel while under Heyman’s tutelage and I’m sure that won’t change here.

Ryback vs. Chris Jericho

Oh, the mishandling of Ryback in the last year.  He began as an unstoppable, no-selling babyface who looked like the next big thing.  He was so popular and moving so much merchandise, WWE turned to him to enter the WWE Championship feud when Cena was injured.  What should have been the beginning of the beginning was actually the beginning of the end.  He of course had to lose that feud because Punk was entering a program with The Rock.  What’s more puzzling is why Ryback lost his wars with The Shield and Mark Henry.  To make matters worse, he was turned heel to be new champion John Cena’s first opponent.  No way he’s winning that.  The latest incarnation of Ryback is a cowardly heel who calls off matches because his leg hurts.  Unbelievable.  It has officially been one whole calendar year since Ryback has won on pay-per-view.

Having said all that…I think he wins here.  Jericho loses to everyone and he’s supposedly about to go back on tour with Fozzy so there’s no point or need for him to win here.  Unless they’re really seriously trying to bury the big man for good.

World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio defends against Dolph Ziggler.

One of my first posts to this blog was calling for everyone to stay patient with Ziggler and keep cheering him until they turn him face.  Well, it worked and I’m a genius!  The rare double switch was pulled at Payback where Ziggler became the sympathetic figure getting his poor concussed head kicked in while Del Rio became the asshole for doing whatever it took to win.  Very well done.  The only problem is that Big E. Langston and AJ Lee, Dolph’s partners in crime, are still heels so WWE has awkwardly kept their appearances together to a mimimum.  They will eventually have to turn on him but I still think he wins the strap back here.  The World Championship MITB ladder match is comprised of all heels and I can’t see any of the potential winners entering a program with the “evil” Del Rio.

Divas Championship: AJ Lee defends against Kaitlyn

This went from interesting to horrible pretty quickly.  Fat jokes and dressing up like each other are the staples of WWE “comedy” and they recently went back to that well in a feud that had previously been fueled by believable actions, history and hatred.  Whatever.  AJ Lee is the only Diva over enough to have her own T-shirt, so I don’t see her dropping the belt right back to the person she just beat for it.

World Heavyweight Championship Money in the Bank ladder match: Dean Ambrose of The Shield vs. Fandango vs. Jack Swagger vs. Antonio Cesaro vs. Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett

This is a fantastic match because anyone of the 7 participants winning is entirely plausible.  Yes, even Wade Barrett who might be set for a re-push after an embarrassing run as IC champ.  I give the worst odds to Jack Swagger, who was just found guilty for his indiscretions earlier this year.  Rhodes Scholars have been the only ones working an angle here, insisting that they will remain friends no matter what.  So obviously they will be breaking up.  I give the best odds to Dean Ambrose and Fandango, who are so over, they are bordering on tweeners.  I’m going with Ambrose ultimately since he always enters through the crowd anyway and it might be interesting to be wondering if he’s going to cash in every time The Shield does a run-in.

WWE Championship Money in the Bank “All-Stars” ladder match: CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Christian vs. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

I left Kane out of the match as he was demolished by The Wyatt family on Monday and the highly-worked wwe.com is reporting him as “doubtful.”  If he does try to come back, I’m sure the Wyatts will have something to say about it.  Daniel Bryan has been positioned as the odds-on favorite thanks to his recent winning streak, but if he’s headed into a program with Cena anyway (as has been widely reported), I don’t see why he would need the briefcase in his hand.  CM Punk also doesn’t need a briefcase to get a title shot, not to mention he is all set for Summerslam with Brock Lesnar on tap.  The case would only distract from that dream feud.  Sheamus and Randy Orton are both afterthoughts; I think the most likely winners are the returnees: Christian and Rob Van Dam.

Christian has called for “one more match” before he retires, which could be an easy heel turn if his “one more match” ends up being a cheap cash-in.  There’s also the rumors that they were slow to bring him back because they didn’t have anything for him and yet, since he’s been back, he has basically done nothing.  So maybe the plans for him are set in motion on Sunday.  Finally, he mentioned how he’s not the biggest or baddest and he has been losing to the other participants, so Christian winning could be a “shocking upset.”

Rob Van Dam is back in WWE for the forseeable future and while I don’t follow TNA, I’ve read his stint there was less than successful. In his mid-forties now, I can’t see him doing much of his trademark high-risk assaults.  But what do I know?  WWE must know something if they’re willing to stick him right into this high profile spot.  His winning is an instant storyline about a triumphant return.  I don’t know what the plan would be if he doesn’t go over here.

WWE Championship: John Cena defends against Mark Henry

Mark Henry laid his boots at the top of the ramp and then gave an amazing and heartfelt retirement speech.  Shockingly, it wasn’t real.  And I don’t mean shocking like as a twist in the story.  I mean it literally shocked everyone.  I have never been more fooled in my wrestling-watching life.  It was all laid out perfectly.  Saying he was “going home” after he lost to Sheamus at Extreme Rules.  Dirt sheet rumors that management was upset with him and it wasn’t in the plans for him to take time off.  Deciding if he needed surgery or not.  Using Twitter, where the lines between kayfabe and reality are especially blurred, to hint at hanging it up.  Breaking character.  Crying real tears.  This would have been a segment of the year candidate even if it had been sincere.  Attacking John Cena at the end instead solidified it as pretty much the best thing ever.  Henry’s performance was so convincing and my marking out so severe that I didn’t even hear him yell “I gotta lot left in the tank!” the first time.  I thought he was just retiring in character and going out with a slam.  I purchased this show because I want to see my favorite guy be rewarded for his 17 years of service.  Rewarded for creating the best segment ever.  Rewarded for fooling me in a cynical business where I am jaded toward the product and not easily fooled.  I want to witness the coronation of Mark Henry as WWE Champion.

I don’t think that happens here.

Cena is flinching!  Cena is scared!  Cena is getting outsmarted and beaten up at every turn!  So there’s no way he doesn’t OVERCOME!  NEVER GIVE UP!  HUSTLE LOYALTY RESPECT! THE CHAMP IS HERE!

I root for the heels so I’m used to a lifetime of disappointment.  But man, this one is gonna hurt.

It’s Payback Time: WWE Payback Preview

I realize my corny headline is a little too on-the-nose.  I was going to call it “Sugar Tits!” but the connection between Mel Gibson and a decades-old movie he made felt too far to reach and by then I was overthinking it.  This Sunday is WWE Payback, the latest renaming of the garbage time pay-per-view that falls in early summer.  I think last year it was Over The Limit or Over the Edge or Come Over, Red Rover.  It doesn’t matter.  With a mere four weeks of build-up, the card seems hastily thrown together and the excitement level for this show seems non-existent.  Wrestlemania was a disappointment, but Payback looks perfectly set up to be the twelfth best show of the year.

Pre-show: Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

The build: Disgusted by Sheamus’ arm-wrestling and tug-o-war exploits with Mark Henry, Sandow set out to bring classier, more intellectual challenges to Smackdown.  Sheamus proceeded to fail at the Gordian Knot challenge and the shell game.  He “beat” Deep Blue at chess by kicking it.  Sandow’s point is that whenever Sheamus is faced with something he can’t handle, he resorts to violence.  Sheamus, whose character at this point is basically a cranky toddler, proved him right at every turn.  I’m tired of writing about what a dickbag Sheamus is so I’m just going to ignore this.  Since it’s relegated to the pre-show, it won’t be that hard to do.  Sandow is not one of the heels who gets to ever win against upper level babyfaces, so it’s probably a good move to not waste precious “I paid for this” time on this match.

Who will get payback?

Ignoring the fact that the heel is correct (which is an awesome premise to build a feud around, I know), I’d say Sheamus probably gets payback for the one totally provoked beat-down Sandow gave him, while Sandow will not avenge the four or so unprovoked attacks by the Irishman.  *SIGH*  I made a deal with myself that if Sandow pulls off the upset, I will order this crappy show.  I’m not exactly worried about the location of my wallet at this moment.  Your move, WWE.  Take my money, I dare you.

United States Title Match: Dean Ambrose of The Shield defends against Kane

Tag Team Title Match: Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns of The Shield defend against Randy Orton & Daniel Bryan

The build: Since Team Hell No lost the tag titles, Bryan has gotten it in his head that he is the weak link of the team, even though everyone tells him he’s not and even though his partner is the seven foot monster Kane, so of course he kind of is.  Bryan has since upped his intensity and in-ring performances, reclaiming his briefly lost throne as the most over guy on the roster and single-handedly making WWE watchable at various points.  Ignore the shitty Vince McMahon segments and Randy Orton matches and just watch Daniel Bryan take on the Shield.  It’s amazing.  Anyway, the faces all got disqualification wins over the champs at some point, which earned them these shots- a near miraculous dose of consistency, which proves how good this angle has been.  Bryan has been a royal pain in the ass and both Kane and Orton kind of want to wash their hands of him, but they’re caught in the middle of this never-ending Shield feud and Bryan has been demolishing them lately, so obviously they need him.

Who will get payback?

No one.  Despite the history, this is basically going to set up the next chapter for everyone.  Daniel Bryan is just too hot a commodity to immediately book him back into another odd couple tag team.  Something will go wrong and he will probably end up feuding with Orton.  Kane and Ambrose are only having their match because they were the odd men out of the tag match.  Rumor has it that Kane is retiring to go into politics.  Whether or not that’s happening sooner or later, he’s not at the point in his wrestling career where he’s going to take a strap from one of the up and coming stars of the company.  Hard to believe I was predicting the end of the Shield back at Elimination Chamber.  Could not have been more wrong.

Divas Title Match: Kaitlyn defends against AJ Lee

The build: AJ won a battle royal to become the number one contender a really long time ago, but Divas matches don’t make it onto pay-per-view very often anymore.  These two have a history that apparently pre-dates my knowing who they are.  Recently, Kaitlyn became obsessed with the identity of her secret admirer, which turned out to be Big E. Langston, as part of a prank played by AJ.  This was a fantastic reveal to end an otherwise shitty angle. Langston often lusts over Kaitlyn on Twitter so it was pretty believable it could be him.  They totally fooled me into thinking they were doing a ‘Dolph and Big E. have girlfriends who hate each other’ story.  But alas, no.  AJ instead got to cut a scathing promo on Kaitlyn and Kaitlyn got to make some pretty convincing “damn it, I don’t want to cry but I am” faces.

Who will get payback?

Kailtlyn might kick some ass but I have a feeling this one is far from over.  Kaitlyn is an emotional wreck.  This heartbreak has broken her and caused her to lose focus.  She assaulted the ref on Smackdown and got herself disqualified.  Sunday’s showdown should end in similar fashion with Kaitlyn caring more about revenge than rules.

Intercontinental Title Triple Threat Match: Wade Barrett defends against The Miz and Curtis Axel

The build: None, really, although Miz and Barrett traded the IC belt back and forth over Wrestlemania weekend.  Barrett, despite being champion, has somehow become a glorified jobber and I really think the plan was to have Fandango win the belt with Miz thrown in so it wouldn’t have to be a heel vs. heel match.  The ballroom dancer’s recent concussion put an end to that happening so Paul Heyman’s newest client gets the spot instead.  Curtis Axel is a repackaged Michael McGillicutty, who is suddenly allowed to acknowledge his lineage, naming himself after his father, Curt Hennig and his grandfather, Larry the Ax Hennig, and even using his dad’s moves and remixed theme music.   He’s suddenly gone from only being used as a lumberjack to main eventing Raws.

Who will get payback? 

The Miz, if anyone.  I like Wade, but his jobber status is tarnishing the Intercontinental title.  I hate that Antonio Cesaro loses all the time, but at least he’s not the US champion anymore.  Get the belts off your enhancement talent!  They’ve kind of built up the notion that the IC title is Axel’s “birth right” but I don’t think he’s ready for that yet.  I think The Miz will win the belt back and keep it warm for Fandango.

World Heavyweight Championship: Dolph Ziggler defends against Alberto Del Rio

The build: Ziggler cashed in Money in the Bank the night after Wrestlemania to claim the title, but a concussion suffered by the Show-off put this story in a holding pattern for the last month and a half.  Ziggler is finally cleared and ready to make his first defense against the man he stole the belt from.

Who will get payback?

No one.  Ziggler can’t get payback on the man who concussed him because that was Jack Swagger.  Del Rio would like payback, but I doubt they had Ziggy be the guy who held off on cashing in longer than anyone, just so he could immediately lose it.  Although he is one of the heels who loses all the time, so you never know.

Who is the Best in the World? CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

The build: This is essentially the strangest feud in WWE history as one of the men involved didn’t participate in it.  Jericho has been verbally sparring with Paul Heyman for weeks, and goaded Punk’s advocate into accepting this match.  Punk has maintained radio silence the whole time, except for tweeting about the Blackhawks.

Who will get Payback?

The real question has been “Will Punk show up?”  It was widely believed that Punk would be healing from his various injuries until at least Summerslam.  I thought maybe he would no-show and be replaced by Curtis Axel or even Heyman himself in a joke match, but the event is in Punk’s hometown of Chicago and if he doesn’t show his face, it could be a literal riot.  Then I thought maybe he would come out and cut a lengthy promo on why he wasn’t going to wrestle, which would at least loosely fulfill an advertised appearance.  Finally, I’ve landed on Punk sucking it up to wrestle one match as a massive babyface in his hometown and then disappearing again a la Brock Lesnar.  Oh, and the guy hasn’t won on pay-per-view since Survivor Series, so I think he’ll beat Y2J in a match of the year candidate.

Three Stages of Hell for the WWE Championship: John Cena defends against Ryback in a Lumberjack Match, Tables Match and Ambulance Match

The build: This is a continuation of a feud so I won’t rehash on their history.  Last month, Ryback and Cena somehow battled to a baffling “No Contest” in a Last Man Standing match and the only solution to unresolved gimmick matches is MORE GIMMICK MATCHES.  I think my favorite part of this is that the lumberjack match is first so it will be really awkward when the match is over and everyone around the ring is asked politely to leave.  I also don’t understand how a lumberjack match is a “stage of hell.”  Has that stipulation ever struck fear into the heart of any man?  Supposedly, it’s because Ryback “likes to run away” which is patently untrue and yet more proof of John Cena’s jackassery.

Who will get pay back?

I believe this will be the final burial of “Ryback: Main Eventer.”  His logic and valid points have no place in this world of poop jokes and asshole babyfaces.  It was a sad spectacle indeed last Monday when Ryback was speaking the honest to God truth about everything he’s done and why but was silenced by Cena shouting, and I quote, “SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!!!!”  This is the shit we put up with to get half hour Daniel Bryan matches on free TV.